Day 34

As I write this it hits me with great irony that both in Day 3 and now I am showing a stark contrast in behaviour.

Back then I wanted to just find safe refuge and get back to what I know.

Now? Now I am actively seeking the unknown.

I can put any number of excuses to that.

That if it is unknown there may be important things there.

The places I know aren't particularly safe anyway.

I'm being adventurous.

I'm being reckless.

I've exhausted all possible other routes.

I'm in the mood for going East today

Etc.

But no matter how you coat the truth. The bitterness still remains. The real reason we are headed there? Luck. Pure and simple. Until yesterday I didn't even realise that I was headed in that area. In the past month everything has changed so much and I've had to focus on so many little details that I've actually forgotten what things look like.

Last night I calculated where we actually travelled the past couple of weeks. I actually walked within eye-shot of my own home. How can I not notice my own home. The place I have lived all of my life?

Sam suggests that there are other things on our minds right now. Should the end of the world really mean we lose all we were.

I've just realised how ironic I have been.

This is hard to express now. So bare with me, I'll do the best I can.

I've spent the entire time I have been writing this claiming that I have put my life before all this in a corner somewhere and don't intend to pick it back up.
But if I really hide it, then what do I have left? I just have empty words of what I claim to be. It is true that my actions the past month have defined me and shown me what path I want to follow but my actions were based upon the person I was before all of this... I see no other way but this:

My name is Peter. Before all this I had a job, brothers, parents, a dog, my dad had fish, I had friends, I had creativity and inspiration but not enough dedication.

Before that I went to college. I spent too much time distracted and didn't get the grades I could have gotten.

Before that; school. The same thing happened there.

Before that; nursery. I learnt the basics of life like finger painting.

Before that; pre-school. I cried. A lot.

Before that; I was born...

My life. In six lines.

Within all of that I learnt everything that has defined me. I am now a person and not just a child. Each person I met and ever will meet is etched upon my soul and will forever define my future self.

It's funny. I came up with that line years ago to explain to people the importance I place on every meeting.

Back then every day a thousand people defined who I was, but now, only one person and a lot of Rani do...

A tip. Don't lose who you are.

As cliché as it sounds, our souls are really all that separate us from the Rani no matter what you try to say.

I hope you make another day