Day 74

So it snowed last night. Any other time it would be amazing. But with the end of the world? The lingering red is leaking through and the Rani increase this by leaving a trail of a foul looking colour. Whatever I've said about them before in terms of not bleeding or whatever was a lie.

Downstairs seems clear from the lack of sound. Tomorrow we will attempt to check the food there. Today we are playing various forms of poker.

I hope you make another day

Day 73

Today was a long day. Mainly as Sam was engrossed in one of the books I took from home and so didn't want to be disturbed. The other deciding factor was watching the Rani.

It was cold today. I would have to say colder than we've had. I'd hate to think what the rest of the country is going through. Scotland is always getting worse weather.

But the Rani here seem to stay pretty much stationary. Sure they move a few steps every couple of hours then stop again but it's strange. It's almost like they are hampered by the cold. I thought that until I saw a few splinter off and chase something. They moved just as fast.

It would seem they conserve energy in the cold and nothing more. A concern to be noted: you can never underestimate the Rani. They will always do something new.

I hope you make another day

Day 72

The barricade held last night so now I reside in a bedroom. The Rani seem to be slowing down quite a bit. It could be something to do with the temperature outside. -5 at 10am isn't pretty and it looks to get worse.

Bright side is being down a level we can stretch properly which is nice. But with looking out the window I am less and less enthusiastic about approaching that world.

I apologise again for not writing much, I have been sleeping most of the day. Not really feeling lethargic or anything but just catching up considering I have only been having 6 or so hours a night since this started.

I hope you make another day

Day 71

We had to get out of the loft for a while to find more layers because it was cold last night. There is a lot of ice on the ground.

Rani numbers are low. We barricaded the stairs a bit more but in doing so we got the attention of the few Rani around the house so to make sure we're safe it will be another night in the loft to see if our barricade holds. Then finally we will be able to keep a look out for any threats on a permanent basis instead of only when we go to get quilts and the rest.

The only real good news is that I've caught up on my sleep and Sam's injury no longer needs monitoring. For the safe side I will be keeping the stitches in another week.

I hope you make another day

Day 70

It snowed a little today. It also got down to at least -5celsius.

It's not a fun time to be living in an apocalypse. I guess had we lived in Russia or Canada or the rest of those countries we would at least be prepared for the weather more easily. British weather is so unpredictable that it wouldn't surprise me if tomorrow was sunny.

I had a look myself today. It was my turn apparently. They do seem to be clearing out. Tomorrow would be a good estimate for when we can leave the loft for good and enforce the stairs safely.

Based upon what I have learnt I would have to say a good two days minimum before it's safe enough to move out and on to our current objective.

I didn't sleep much but I have slept a bit so that helps if there is an unexpected situation. With how quiet it has been getting we may get a bit more tonight.

A point Sam made was it might be an idea to shadow the horde when it moves out considering it is moving in the direction we want to go. There would be less chance of an unwanted meeting with our favourite reanimated people.

I hope you make another day

Day 69

Today's report from Sam: 'even less of them a couple days I guess'

I have to agree with her, even though I haven't seen them I managed to catch a couple of hours sleep today because it was quieter.

Our only problem now? Running low on food again if we ration a bit more we have a couple of days but it's not exactly healthy foodstuff. I'm thinking we're going to need a proper cooked meal before we move out to ensure we aren't starving our bodies of anything vital any more. It may be worth picking up vitamin supplements and the rest for emergency situations when we run out of certain things. I.e. Vitamin C/ Protein. Though I have to say I don't much like the look of those protein shakes and I'm none too convinced they are actually healthy for you especially when you aren't eating properly beside them...

But enough for now. Sleep is still calling

I hope you make another day

Day 68

Sam had a look on the first floor today while I still tried to sleep. She says it still doesn't look fantastic with at least 3 or 4 dozen viewable at any given window. From a glance downstairs apparently there is a good dozen inside as well. Luckily they appear to be roaming around all the houses so we cannot be singled out by any hostile forces shall we say.

It is looking increasingly like we will have to make a stand or try to sneak away house by house somehow. Staying here isn't really a viable option.

It's even colder today. Frost outside. Outlook bleak

But I'm still struggling to sleep. Every crash sets me off. In a way we're safe. The Rani cannot get to us even if they got past the stairs. And until the Rani are gone, no human can get us without putting themselves in a huge amount of danger.

Sam doesn't seem to be struggling now, so again, at least one of us is working at a good level.

I hope you make another day

Day 67

They still persist. Why can't they just leave? Their milling about is creating such a pitch of noise that I cannot sleep a wink.

I half want to go to the stairs and just start taking them out, but doing so would mean using ammo that we may desperately need later. Equally we may never get the chance to use it so why protect it?

It's slowly getting colder and colder up here and even with extra layers on it's not exactly comfortable. Before long we are probably going to have to move about in the extra layers let alone stay still in them so we really need to think about it.

The bright side is that it would appear that the rifle Sam 'borrowed' has a sight on it which appears to have a form of night vision. I want to say a 'kite sight' from a vague memory of Chris Ryan books but I'm not sure. It emits a high pitch noise but there's not much we can do there. The awesome part is that in emergencies we can move out and not be seen. The pitch would probably attract Rani but after a few feet it disappears completely for... human ears...

Another attempt to sleep now though

I hope you make another day

Day 66

As I lay awake with the Rani clawing at the house I was glad that I wasn't able to put the alarm on. It would have just gone off and alerted more Rani to our position.

Eventually they broke through the downstairs windows and it would seem a few climbed through. But none seem to be able to get past the cupboard on the stairs.

That of course doesn't make me want to leave the loft space. We did however have to just to survey the scene.

It's not pretty.

A horde is still milling around us, slowly displacing. I give a couple of days before it's really safe to stay on the first floor. This is such a major let down. If we had been more careful they wouldn't have caught up to us, or maybe, given the amount of time between the first shot and them arriving, they would have just passed us by. Regardless we are stuck in a small area for a while.

In shifts we cleared up what we could to make our place to sleep more appropriate using the former families possessions. We have even made a sign for when we leave so that others know about the place to stay if they ever find it.

We haven't slept due to the constant noise. We've ended up talking about 'what ifs' in terms of what if the end never happened. It is a direct area we have never spoken of before. It's actually nice to dream of a relaxing time. If anything it's good because Sam keeps drifting off as we talk. At least one of us will be well rested.

I hope you make another day

Day 65

We did a quick once over of the small estate we were on. Open doors mainly. Not many cars. The roads were empty. It was almost like everyone got out until we started smelling properly. It's kind of sad but over this time we have become used to the smell of the dead because that is the smell that Rani give us. The only smell that still makes me sick is the smell of the recently dead, when it feels like the smell is warm. I have only encountered it a few times. That of the first days in passing in Scott's house and the unlucky few around there. That of Day 4. That of the Day 4 leader in ASDA.

The smell was old but it was there. Upon looking we realised something. Most homes reeked of it. We approached one and saw why. Three dead. Another four dead. Another five. Another two. Another three. Five. Two. Four. Four. Three. One. Two. Eventually we couldn't do any more. But I had to. I walked into one house. The person was dead by a hit to the head. They hadn't reanimated. Whoever killed them got them early. Looking at others it was a similar story. It didn't make sense to start. But I looked for just a second. The bodies had been moved. All moved so that they could be seen from the front door.

It was a mistake to be there. Someone had killed these people quite possibly to save their own lives. We may have weapons but that means nothing.

We started to make our way back to the first village. But there he was. A bloodied man with a pipe in his hand. The blood wasn't dried meaning he had to have killed recently. He took a few steps towards us. We raised our weapons and shouted to stop. He didn't. He ran at us and I looked behind at the off chance he was running for something there but that thought was in vain. I turned back and saw him raise his arm. I shot him in the shoulder and we both fell backwards. The kick on the rifle was much larger than I thought and the shot was silent. I didn't realise it had a silencer on it.

I picked myself up and saw he did the same. Sam was shaking by now. I managed to shout 'Why!?' but he never responded. He ran at us again and I shot at his shoulder again. This time I stayed up but I wished I hadn't. His arm seemed to just displace. My shots must have destroyed the bone. I felt sick but his snarling worried me more than anything. He would get up and come for us if we didn't run.

Two choices. First village or further in this one. He was getting up. I grabbed Sam

'Where to? North or South Sam?'

She blinked a second and whispered 'We can't stay here, let's go ba...'

But she was interrupted. Not by him but by the horde approaching. Fear made my body go cold. Their feet upon the ground were almost silent. I realised then the rifle didn't have a silencer on. That I had one in my pack for it but hadn't got round to attaching it. The noise had been shattering compared to the silence we had been enjoying recently. Making us prey to the Rani.

We looked at the man but he just turned in all his bloodlust and charged at the horde with is arm trailing in the air. Whatever his reason for his massacre we will never know as he was swallowed a mere instant later by the tide of flesh approaching.

We rushed into a house and slammed the door. Straight through over the bodies. Slamming the back door we chose another house and did the same. We followed this process for one more house then came to a house we knew was empty including no remains of previous inhabitants. Upon arrival I attempted to arm the alarm, but with no notes I decided I couldn't risk it. We barricaded ourselves as best as possible downstairs before blocking of the stairs with a cupboard. Crashing rang out all over but there was nothing within the house.

We climbed into the loft. Cold and empty. We took things from down below to keep us warm then retreated upwards again. The noise slowly reduced but still hasn't faded completely. The temperature is low but with the insulation we are on we should stay warm enough and assuming we don't inhale fibres tonight we should be fine.

I fitted what weapons I could with silencers. No way I was going to let something like that happen again. At least we proved for certain they are attracted to noise...

I hope you make another day

Two Months

A little over two months have now passed since the end.

A lot remains the same as the One Month post so please refer to that. But what has changed?

The sky is now so beautifully clear most days. The world is silent but for our footsteps and breaths and those of any survivors. Not forgetting the low mumblings of our reanimated brothers and sisters of course, they have their place here now too.

But this clear silent world is empty of all meaning but the day to day goal of seeing a new dawn. There is still no word from anyone else. No family. No friends. I actually even tried calling people and there was nothing, not even responses to emails.

The majority of sites are down now. Social networks aren't really needed anyway. The useful thing though is that Google seems to have pretty decent servers/power supplies, though they could fail at any point just like any other.

Please remember also that GPS will survive much longer. The satellites are undisrupted by the events on Earth, unless of course someone decides to change their orbit.

We have fully encountered true enemies. And, by virtue of trying to save some people who could well have been on their way to becoming the Rani, we declared war on them by destroying a stockpile of weapons. Before which, obviously, we liberated some. The contents remain a secret for now, except I have replaced my air rifle for something with a little more... scope...

But as always our biggest enemy remains torn between ourselves and the Rani. As shown in Sam's injury. If she had not been separated from me and focused her attention on all around her she may not have been injured, or she may have been dead altogether. But at the same time the Rani may not have been there a minute later.

The weather is not our friend either. This winter seems to be heading to becoming a cold one. Fog and rain and frost. Negative figures on the temperature gauges. These things effect our safety but not the Rani. If we slip we get injured, we slow down. The Rani are ignorant of pain, nothing but death or the loss of a limb completely slows them down.

If possible don't return to your homes unless you are fully prepared. Knowing that you are leaving all that you had behind is hard enough without it put infront of your face so brightly. But if you do return home make sure you take everything you will ever need. Including spare keys for things you may never see again for that off chance that you do see it again. Pack supplies for the cold winter, you can always ditch it after.

On that topic of collecting items. I advise getting a bag that you can ditch in emergencies. Fill it mainly of things you have in excess. It means that when you are pursued you can drop it and hopefully come back for it later. It means you can carry all you need for the next few weeks until you are more worried about the next two minutes.

The most important thing is to learn from what you do. If you see a pattern remember it. If you pass a dead end note it down. The last thing you need when being chased is to run into that spot.

But remember luck has it's value too. Sometimes you just have to place your faith into it and hope it works.

If you live please let me know.

I hope you make another month

Day 64

There is a truth I have neglected to mention. Like Sam's condition, I too am weighed down occasionally. A periodical depression that comes and goes. It makes me lack enthusiasm for things as well as making me forget to care. I have learnt over the years to hide it and build the walls we all build much higher. When this all started I wondered if I had overcome it or that it was only a mental state. But the longer it continues the more I am convinced: it is another thing uncontrollable.

For a while at least my posts may seem distant. But I promise I will not miss anything of relevance. And when I balance myself I will continue the story of my past. That Day is important as I have said so many times before.

But enough of that.

A point I haven't mentioned yet, in case you haven't found out yet. A lot of websites seem to be failing. All google supported ones seem okay, although there is nothing new that I have found but my blog. Obviously Youtube videos cannot be uploaded as they have to be processed. Who knows how long until these fail too. If we're lucky they'll make the end of the hardware's life span. So we have 5 or so years.

Another useful thing is that GPS is still going until the satellites start falling from failing systems. Just a few updates for you prior to the monthly update.

-

Today we had enough room to move, so we did. The world was still cold but at least we could see before us. Sam's injury looks pretty much mended anyway. Instead of straight to our target I decided to change the plan a little bit. I was uncomfortable about a few areas along the way considering how enclosed they are balanced against escape routes away from the situation. The new route took us to another village. Another day added to our journey time but at least we could find if anyone was still alive there too.

With moving fast we made it to the edge and settled into a house without encountering any Rani. We haven't yet encountered any other people either. I guess though that it has been two months. I didn't even think I would survive this long. I barely made a week. But we must hold hope. The darkness must end at some point. When it does I will finally have a good nights sleep. Without the sight of the eyes before me.

A thought has occurred to me. I never did go back for that Mars Bar...

I hope you make another day

Day 63

If it's not one thing it is another.

Today's delay, courtesy of Fog. Pretty dense stuff too. I would hazard a guess at 30-40 yards clear enough but after that it fades pretty rapidly. That's not somewhere you want to be when a horde could be anywhere.

Even playing cards is now wearing thin on us. It's fine for the odd hour but with nothing else to do we spent the better part of six hours doing so.

Sitting in silence to the low hum of the passing Rani is now the only thing that seems to pass the time quickly. It's a strange thing that when we are safe their noises are actually soothing, almost like the noises that sleeping dogs make when dreaming but more constant.

I just hope we can move on sooner rather than later. I have a feeling the weather isn't going to get better for a long time.

I hope you make another day

Day 62

The weather looked as if it would hold for the day, but Rani still scoured the streets. We could leave by the back way but this would have meant being delayed by a couple of days while trying to identify an easy new route.

It turned out to be a good call hiding away as shortly before lunch what only could be described as a horde descend from the path we would have taken. No Screamer to be seen. They just moved around like usual. They are still out there now but I cannot stop watching them. There is something on the tip of my tongue about them, but I can't quite figure out what it is.

I hope you make another day

Day 61

When we woke it was already raining and the Rani in the street carried on regardless. I hadn't really taken a look at them before in this weather. Blood seemed to wash off of them but seemed endless; making the roads redden. Of course most of this would be washed away after they move on but I still found it slightly absurd. It wasn't a huge quantity but unless they fed surely they couldn't replenish anything. Unless of course something was wrong completely with my idea of the Rani. Could it be they don't follow the seven signs of being alive? (Nutrition-check, Excretion-I haven't checked, Reproduction-does conversion count?, Growth-time will tell, Sensitivity-no pain receptors noticed, Respiration-not that I've seen, Movement)

It begs the question: What is life?

I watched them pass all day with the rain coming and going. Another day wasted for my plan, but not in learning a bit about our biggest two foes.

Weather: it's not easy but you can judge in the pattern of the weather in the current day what it will be like tomorrow. It's not exact but it's probably as reliable as the weather reports we used to get. It cannot be explained, I just hope in telling you this you can try to learn yourself.

Rani: there is something more to them. I notice it more and more every day. A pack mentality but at the same time lone hunters. If one catches your scent they alone will get you. In this way they are not a pack. At the same time they instinctively know where the others of their kind are, and what direction they are going. So why don't they act upon one of their own changing direction rapidly? There is too much contradiction here. Almost as if their mind isn't wired correctly, that it is only half functioning. All I can hope is that their brains do not get more coherent. We've almost died a number of times running from a mindless beast. Running from a thinking beast? I don't fancy the chances.

I hope you make another day

Day 60

As I looked over another white morning today I sighed. Maybe it was true; maybe they finally got it right. Maybe the forecasters actually were able to predict something. Maybe it would be the coldest winter in current history (whatever that phrase actually means).

Based on that we wrapped up as best we could without limiting our ability to run and fight. I regretted not picking up some of my dads cooking equipment. Sure it was heavy and slightly dangerous (flammable) but with days like this ahead we need warm food. We also need shelter every night, so that is a priority come midday. Once it reaches 1pm we will search from a house to stay. Though we may easily survive the night the risk is too high. Frankly I want to live. That's it simply put.

We watched as Rani passed and took a chance to shadow a group. With the wind pretty much non existent the group in front would not find us. A later group would but with any good fortune they will be far behind and not be able to catch us.

We passed a few turnings with them lurching forward and scrambling badly over cars; occasionally waiting for their stragglers to catch up which was interesting to see. The ones at the front just stopped almost mid step in anticipation, and the moment the others caught up they carried on. This pace was easy to follow but it was actually slower than the pace we used to set in the city, especially adding on that we had to be even more careful when climbing cars when the group was easily within ear shot.

Eventually they followed a path I didn't want to so we were faced with travelling in a direction that could hold Rani moving towards us. But with the Sun blazing down and it still being cold we carried on in the hopes of finding another building.

We did. We reached the village I was aiming for and found a place to hide. Watching the houses I couldn't see any movement except for one which appeared to have a Rani moving about the living room unable to get out, which is probably for the best. One less to worry about.

Other than that nothing. That always concerns me, but no matter; we will only be here one day.

I am still aware I haven't spoken any more of Day 4 but with what is happening now I just cannot spend my time focusing on my past. It's all about where we are heading.

I hope you make another day

Day 59

As usual fate seems set on destroying our goals. No matter what we do bad things happen. Today frost set in: negative figures. Though Sam is almost ready to fight on at peak efficiency I decided against it.

The Rani pass the house occasionally and though the view is not amazing using the scopes and binoculars I am beginning to understand how the countryside seems to work. The cycling of Rani leaves large spots open in the metropolitan areas, but in the wild this same pattern means they cover almost all areas. In theory the only safe path is to trail a group of them hoping they don't catch our scent. Running across fields seems ideal, but it leaves us open to attack from all sides and flanking. I don't like it. This pack and hunter mentality is truly creepy, it's like whatever makes us them activates parts of our heads that aren't active any more. Could it be that rather than this being a freak evolution of mankind it is a devolution?

Could that mean that it really is a virus?

Else does it mean mankind's time at a sentient being is over?

I won't let it end this way, after all we have been through we cannot just let it pass over one incident.

I hope you make another day

Day 58

We started our journey southwards today. Passing signs of civilisation. As we walked in and out of the cars littering the lone road we realised that we were diving into an area deeper than we had ever been before. Survival in this environment would require different skills to those that we had been using up until now. We checked our weapons and fired a single shot each into the distance. Looking through my scope I saw the impact in a tree for mine and Sam reported hers hit another.

I checked my map, which was now attached to my belt for ease of viewing. I didn't really need to look at it but I wanted to get into the habit of it for when we moved further on.

When we reached the turning it dawned on me: a reasonably sized oversight. There was a lot of tree and bush cover but not much in the way of places to hide. If things came at us we would be in trouble.

But as we always did, and I guess we always will, we shrugged, accepted it, and carried on.

Sadly fate conspired against our progress once again. We followed the road and climbed over car after car until we saw a group of Rani. We noticed them when we were already on top of a car, and by then it was too late. They chased us. We ran back and took a side road, I desperately looked at my map for signs of other roads or houses. After a relatively short run we found a house; it was open.

The Rani would most likely catch up within about half hour after taking into consideration their inability to climb objects, so they wouldn't find us here.

Another waste of a day, brought courtesy of bad luck. But then we learnt something: encounters with Rani here will be more dangerous and we must take more care.

I hope you make another day

Day 57

Our plan will mean venturing into unfamiliar territory. It is almost unknown due to the fact I have never walked it but gone by car. It is dangerous not only because of that, but of the open spaces. Because of that we didn't move today which is a great annoyance to us both. Sure we have the issues of my mind being awry today, and confirming our plan of action, but today was a beautiful day and it is just wasted by sitting still.

So an early night and long sleep just in case there are safe places for a few days.

I hope you make another day

Day 56

When I woke this morning I regarded the sky suspiciously. It was clear but for a stretch of clouds like hands; appearing the grasp the very edge of the world. I didn't trust in it, but turning my glance Earth bound the streets were clear. Good enough.

Within a few minutes of clear streets we were there. We stood at the bottom of the short uphill walk that separated us from my home. The area looked a lot like it did before the end. A few windows were broken in the closer houses and most of the cars were gone. But still there lay the almost triumphant scene of the cars outside my house. Two unable to move and the other, seemly, hadn't been forced to. As we ascended I saw that the gate was broken down, it occurred that it could be how the Rani got in on Day 1.

"What's your choice? Front or back?" I asked

"Assuming we're talking about the house" she paused but remained looking forward as she walked "back-ways; door's already open there isn't it?"

"From what I remember we don't need a door to get in that way at all"

We were, of course, both aware that it was dangerous going this way so I went first brandishing my weapon; if we were to run Sam would need a couple seconds on me. Injury or not we both knew I could run faster.

As I entered the gate I made note; my brother's car still lay there, ever so slightly hidden.

When I stopped I checked everything out. Everything was exactly how I had left it, albeit slightly longer in reference to the greenery. Even the kitchen light had been left on which had probably been turned on by my dad that morning. Even the Rani lay there. Not eaten: no others had been here.

It occurred to me then that a good, but slightly sinister, way to check if Rani were about would be to leave the dead in places we wanted secure. If the flesh remained then it should be safe.

I signalled her in and when she arrived she mentioned the same thing.

"Ya know the other thing that occurs to me Miss is that shouldn't there be maggots and flies on dead bodies?"

"Gross but yes as far as all that CSI stuff goes anyway"

"Have you noticed any flies or maggots on any of the dead we've seen?"

"No... but what could that mean?"

"Could mean everything, could mean nothing." I shrugged, she smiled, I saw my dog's collar precarious on the edge of the decking, as I had left it. I was filled with a strange sadness knowing that she was definitely gone unless some unforeseen strangers decided it was safe to have her with them. Though what concerned me now, which hadn't then, was how her collar came to be off of her. And then still be tied up. That disturbed me somewhat.

Before I knew it I had stepped through. I was home.

I turned to Sam "Take whatever you need, your house is my house... No wait... Strike that, reverse it." She smiled from my anecdote and proceeded to explore slowly. Though Rani were not here others still may.

The kitchen held water supplies which we took alongside any food still intact. Tins included.

Then to the rest of the house. Along the way I picked up the spare keys for the cars of the house. If I ever were to come across them again or need to backtrack I didn't want to be searching for them.

I picked up my waterproof coat as well as the insulating layer and proceeded to my room. Each part of the house seemed slightly darker than it ever had been before, but each room was empty and none had any signs of things being moved.

I suddenly realised this would probably be the last I saw of this house, regardless of what happened and I felt sadness. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed upon the thought of something I hadn't considered: that the house was as big a part of me as my family and though it wasn't dead, it would be lost, eventually it would be raided and all sentiments would leave it.

I looked around and tried to assess what was important to me. So much, so little... A pack of cards, a game, long lost toys, shoes, movies, books, my guitar.

I stood looking for a while until Sam announced her presence and said she had collected everything she wanted. I picked up my last pair of converse and put them back down in place, reaching instead for my hiking boots. All purpose shoes: Check

I grabbed yet another coat. I wasn't going to leave something that expensive for any future raiders. Coats for all weather. Check

I grabbed a couple of books. Useful as kindling if nothing else later on. Joke book, favourite book and it's sequels: Check

I looked in despair. I should not have come back. I had my writing... I took it all out and found the fire safety box in the house. I emptied it of all things of monetary value and filled it instead with what was really important, then I hid it in a place it couldn't be found only to find I wasn't any more relaxed by this until I realised that alongside what I had put in there were the documents my mum had seen as important, certificates of all of us: a memory in a box protected against the elements... 

I took my pendrive, just as important as the written word. It stored a copy of most of the same things, but it was just an emergency copy. I stashed it away in my pocket. I changed into cleaner versions of the clothes I had originally taken, which were also better fitting as they had been too small for me prior to the end.

I looked around again and again. I took one rabbit-teddy for memory's sake and took my 18th Birthday present (a watch) from my cupboard and put new batteries in. I gave a further one to Sam which amused her with how the watch was orientated and showed time. It really cannot be explained but I have the same frustration which stems from the original smile I had when I saw it.

I took the other torches I had acquired in life and new headphones, then saw old sun glasses; though they were not the right prescription any more they weren't far out and they would be better in the sun than the Transitions ones I had on. I tried to think about what else I needed, but the weather started to set in and I couldn't concentrate. I just needed to get out and not come back, unless forever.

We left

I didn't see until later but Sam took my camcorder and my PG tips Monkey toy as well for herself, as well as taking the time to write something on my guitar before we left though I only have her word for the last one... 

I have no doubt now that I must have overlooked something important, but in having more food, clean clothes, a way to stay dry and warm, as well as keeping the sentiments of my house safe. We also have a pack of cards which I never thought of taking before. Sam cheats but at least it's something nice to do to pass the time.

I guess tomorrow will mean we have to start moving on... But one final check.

Sanity: a bit tattered, could do with replacing, but Check.

Resolve: Check

I hope you make another day

Day 55

Even though we had the earliest start we could the weather beat us back. We made it only a short distance. Now we are about a 5minute run from my house, but it seems even the very world wants to keep me away.

Effectively we halved our distance today but with the Rani population growing due to their rotation of areas we had to circle a bit. Add to that Sam's injury still not being fully healed I just don't want to risk any infection setting in.

Good news is today I found a compass and a kinetically charged pedometer. Mostly I have been relying on knowing the area but when it comes to walking through the wilderness these two things combined will allow us to accurately see where we are. Assuming the magnetic poles do not shift of course.

Strangely even though it is fast approaching two months since our meeting we still find things to talk about, I suppose it helps that I'm now talking about pre-apocalypse. A lot of things happen in 20years. And you meet a lot of people... It's getting easier to get to terms with not ever seeing old friends again. It will never be easy though; the best and worst times of my life were defined by people and I doubt any of them draw breath, I may even have ended their re-life without realising it. Though if they live they would destroy the sentimentality of life I have created surrounding them. But within all of that I still cannot comprehend my family not being there any more; they defined so much of my existence that I fear that in losing them I will lose a part of me, I didn't feel that for anyone else that I've lost so far...

We can but wait for morning now though. But I hold little hope for a break. It occurs to me that every day that we are delayed may incur more death... Of course this means nothing to you yet because I have not explained my updated plan.

I hope you make another day

Day 54

Delayed again. The weather doesn't seem to know what to do. I've been cursing the whole fact that the end of the world had to come at winter time. Not spring so we could get used to living outside but when it's coldest...

Again we failed to progress to any decent level but we are within a good distance of home. I am dreading it. It is another early morning to try and beat the weather as it looks like it will just get worse and worse.

I hope you make another day

Day 53

It rained a lot today, and not only that it was cold, it was windy. But haste we made. Passing ground we had hundreds of times before. I had a realisation though. Today would have been the day I officially got my NVQ and so would dozens of others. So congratulations are in order! Of course assuming any of you made it alongside me. If not I guess it doesn't matter to you any more anyway.

Though the day was horrible, the outcome was less so. We gained experience in carrying our weapons. We each held a loaded and an unloaded one ready. With the unloaded one we practised lining up shots; though it isn't the best experience it is indeed the quietest.

We didn't travel as far as we wanted so we utilised the time with map learning. Mainly with Sam being the learner and me testing her. We've started to designate areas each day that will be the refuge if we are split up again. In such a case the pilfered maps will be useful (I say maps as I picked up a second one today). We also split the medical stuff a bit more, especially as Sam is still on low level antibiotics for another week to ensure the wound is okay.

I'm sure you are still inquisitive over where we hid those past days from the Dodge men. The main thing I learnt from computer games online is simple: the enemy rarely worries about their doorstep. They leave their safe area assuming the enemy to be further on unless you reveal yourself, to which they will be wary. Strangely enough if you attack a safe area and retreat they don't assume that you are in the local area all that often; they think you have pulled back to a more controlled area. More fool them. A small hut in the woods served us well until we had to leave.

So now we rest. We aren't where I wanted to be. Ideally I wanted to be able to get to my home and move on within a day. That seems impossible to do safely. Instead we face another day walking then another evening waiting. So on Thursday we should get there...

Even with double our layers it is cold. We best get warm clothing that is suitable soon. I don't fancy our chances when we catch hypothermia...

I hope you make another day

Day 52

Something about rain makes me nostalgic. Today was full of nostalgia. The way it affects me seemed to rub off on Sam and we ended up talking a lot about the before as she so aptly put it.

I formulated a plan in discussing it. It wasn't amazing. It was risky and probably stupid, and maybe just an excuse to see if anyone in my family had made it. We set off whenever the weather picks up. The good news is we can cut by my home and pick some things up that will be useful if not looted. I suggested going to Sam's home but she wasn't keen. I wonder if she worries what would happen if her family were all okay. Would she be forced to leave, or at least feel she should leave. Would I carry on regardless?

The sun broke through and destroyed that line of thinking and I was glad. I'm fed up of what-if?s We blew a building up, there are Rani and there is anarchy. There is rain and sun and places to hide. There's not much else to know... Except... Who else made it?

It will be an early start tomorrow and a long day thereafter. I cannot promise long posts for a while.

I hope you make another day

Day 51

I spent my time today divided between assembling and dismantling the weapons for practice and assessing the map to see what routes to take, and indeed what the next stage of our plan should be.

I'm still concerned over the can of worms we've opened in attacking the Dodge men. Should we move on to a more isolated area or move to another village?

I have a plan but I'm not sure on it's integrity. I will think it through more before starting it.

Day 4

I gave my introductions and almost before I had stopped we were moving on. They were talking about various things from before the end. I wanted to tell them of my exhaustion but it seemed they were night dwellers by choice. I just followed their lead. Every couple of hundred feet they stopped and did a sweep but I found this extremely tiring to do. Adding in the constant fear considering I had no weapons like they did: I was entrusting my safety to people I didn't know.

After a couple of hours they stopped. I hadn't been paying close attention to our movements, but from later experience we had moved only one street over: they had been taking me in circles for no reason, their movements were erratic. But at that point we could have been in the middle of Newton Farm and I wouldn't have known.

I hope you make another day

Day 50

A stillness rose with last night's moon. It remained until the born again silence was broken with the distance sound of vehicles. My body tensed to the noise and I listened intently until they faded. I was sufficiently satisfied that they had gone away so I relaxed and moved about a bit.

Sam's injury seems to be healing nicely I'm half tempted to remove my stitches, but I think I'll leave it at least another week.

Other than that nothing occurred of note so I will finally begin the telling of the infamous

Day 4

After I looked at my watch I headed downstairs, picking up my things as I went, but in my haste I left my main bag, the one with what I deemed were my 'important' things, such as the walkie talkie and mp3 player.  I was drowsy but I couldn't pass the chance of trying to group up with people. I also think somewhere I must have known...

I opened the door silently and called out. Instantly they all turned to me and tightened their grip on their weapons.

A man, who I supposed was the leader, stepped forward letting go of a pendant attached to a necklace he wore.

"Move to the pavement" he shouted.

I was in darkness so I guessed that they just wanted to see for sure that I was safe. A thought occurred to me though: what if they were like the man I had encountered in the pharmacy. Regardless it was now too late. They knew I was here.

They relaxed when they saw me but not much.  He called out again

"Been attacked by any zombies?"

I shook my head "Been chased but I got away yesterday, and the day before. I just walked a lot today." He looked at the others. I wanted to tell them about the family, but thought it was not a good idea as they may think I killed them.

"Wait there" his voice focused my attention again. He turned to the others and motioned them to the middle of where they stood. They started talking. Even though the world was silence I couldn't hear them properly. I just felt funny; the initial shock of seeing the family dead hadn't been shaken off. It made me numb through thinking of my family and what had happened. The world just seemed to mumble to me.

I waited. I waited. I waited. Now that I know what they would have been talking about it makes it seem faster but then it felt like an eternity. I eventually sat down after finding myself shaking. The faint lights of the road side made the whole situation seem a bit sinister. I felt like I was on trial. Indeed I was. When the leader finally turned he smiled.

"I'm Gary, just call me Gar, everyone always has." He walked towards me and held out his hand "We're happy to have you with us. We'll keep an eye out for you obviously as we don't know you but you look honest enough" He motioned to the other six. "Come on, introduce yourselves"

They stepped forward in turn and shook my hand.

Sarah; a well dressed woman. Looked like she was going to work in a shirt and trousers but had a denim jacket on which was slightly torn. She was blonde and reasonably tall. I realised as she walked away she had a knife in her other hand.

Steven; best to describe as smart casual. he had a cap on which would have been no benefit to him at all. He was in jeans and a t-shirt, and it was quite cold out. Short brown hair and my height. He had a 4 or so foot fire axe in his hand

Matthew; bit of a mess if I'm honest. Torn cargo trousers and a vest top with a t-shirt underneath. Brown hair again taller than me (so taller than 5'9). He didn't appear to yet have a weapon

Denis; almost geek chic but I wouldn't really call it chic personally. Shirt with a woollen vest over the top and jeans. He had glasses and loafers as the defining parts of himself. He evidently picked up a frying pan as his weapon, how cliché

Karen; a middle aged woman trying to be all rock and roll. Black attire with chains, tattoos and piercings god knows where. She had a bat.

Charlie; probably the youngest, and it showed, her style was a mix of them all. Clean kept. Vans shoes some godforsaken band's jacket, and even though the world had ended she had make-up on. She too had a knife.

I hope you make another day

Day 49

We didn't sleep last night. The reality soon dawned on us of what we had done.

We had struck a blow to the Dodge men. Who are dangerous. I dread to think their capabilities. They will most likely hunt us down. That is of course assuming they know us.

We took weapons that frighten me. Though we have some silenced versions and silencers I still am dubious to try them, but I know I have to. These weapons are designed to kill effectively. That means one shot should mean one kill. And that means we have a couple thousand Rani to take out before we are in danger. But at the same time these things will make a hell of a lot of mess. They will leave a trail unless we leave Rani to feast upon their fallen, like they seem to enjoy.

I'm holding one in my hands now. It's cold. It's heavy. It feels like it is drawing my soul away. All I can think is that for some reason it just means something dark to me right now. I'm sure soon we'll be best friends. The optics are pretty useful too. I don't need my binoculars any more.

We've decided not to ditch any weapons. Instead we reshuffled our bags. Now some weapons lay in the emergency bags for when we need to bail. All ammo however stays elsewhere. All weapons are ready to fire one clip for that ultimate 'just in case'.

I'm twitching at every noise, even though I know they won't find us here. Sam has been dozing in and out. She's currently out. When she's back I think I'll have a go. If we are to move about within a couple of days we need all the rest we can get. Especially seeing that most food is out of date now...

I hope you make another day

Day 48

We accomplished our first goal today. But the realities of it aren't as positive as we had hoped.

Though it was cold, windy and seemingly the threat of rain increased minute on minute we set off early. It was still dark.

Moving along the paths we found we were moving faster still, as if the baited anticipation of what lay ahead was too much to bare. In less than half and hour we ran out of footpath and took to the road. When we heard noises we climbed into the hedges. A couple of cars passed during our journey.

Finally we reached it. The SAS camp. We stayed hidden as best as we could as we moved closer to the front entrance. We waited for a while for movement. None. It was quite possible the security cameras were working, and due to the weather anyone there would be inside if they weren't the military. The military would have someone outside on duty.

We recently had acquired balaclavas and though it was already humid we put them on as well as already being dressed completely differently to usual. I had even left the rifle behind in a 'safe' place. We moved over to the fence trying to make ourselves as invisible as possible. Moving to the gates it was all secured off and I knew that Sam wasn't up to climbing the fences so we moved along the fence.

We reached a small gap in the fence and climbed through. I was anxious now; worried that we wouldn't find anything. In fact for a while we didn't. Completely deserted. We checked building after building as quietly as we could. We made our way deeper in when suddenly we heard gun fire. We dropped to the ground and I pulled myself along to the side of the building we were by.

I saw a family, or at least a man, woman and two young children. For all I know they had just found each other.

The man was beaten; bloodied. But the woman looked pristine, the children looked a little dirty like me and Sam probably do. Then I saw something worse. Another man dead on the ground next to them. I looked to the men near him and saw something I didn't like the look of. A man, with a bandage on his neck. The patch over his wound was obvious. Looks like he didn't die when I shot him. He was the one holding the gun there.

In a wave of intense hatred I wished I had killed him almost a month ago. I sat up against the blind side of the building and Sam shuffled up.

"We gotta get out" I said in an attempt to clear it in my mind"

"Who's there?"

"Try the guy I shot"

"So the Dodge family have a new home"

"And don't seem to like visitors"

I turned my head and got a tiny glimpse of them holding the gun against the man's head. He was crying. In fact they all were. All the victims anyway. The apparent leader decided now he liked the woman and seemed to be examining her intently. I heard a click behind me and my heart skipped a beat pretty much literally. Turning I saw Sam slipping into the building.

I rushed in after her and was pleasantly surprised. On the home's table lay an assortment of guns and ammo. We had cleared our emergency bags just for this. I looked around at the obviously recently used home. Food littered the sides. Fresh food. I picked up what I thought would be useful. It was truly surreal looking at these weapons, like straight out of a movie. I knew that at some point, if these were from this site, the things before us had been used by the best trained military in the country. It was sort of weird knowing how far down these elite weapons had fallen. Luckily the guns varied in size and the larger assault rifle looking ones were already broken down. So we just took what we could carry. Whoever lived here had amassed a lot. We mainly focused on ammo but took at least one weapon each that suited each type of ammo. We were heavily laden with supplies but I thought of something important: military rations. Opening the cupboards I found a huge number. I ditched a couple of guns and filled the bag with them. Sam waved the written instructions of assembly of various guns the buildings inhabitant had made. I then saw the most scary thing. Explosives.

I realised I could try to save those people after all. It probably wouldn't work but it would give them a chance. I took four pieces of the stuff and put the timers in two. Using the paper Sam found with weapon information on I set one to 5minutes. The other to 8minutes. I put the one behind the settee and we moved the weapons there, and the other by the door. Then armed them and we bolted.

We reached our entry point just as the first went off. I ran to the gates and set the last two there. I thought to myself that I would screw their protection if they thought that all this was theirs. I set the timer for 2minutes. I knew it was a risk in case the people in danger had fled, but they couldn't get out here anyway without it. We reached the tree-line and were out of sight before I heard the other. We then changed direction and headed the correct way.

My plan you ask? I saw the explosives and instantly came up with it. Use an explosive device to bring them to an area and have a secondary to take a few out. They may even think it went off by itself if we are lucky.

The thing is, the second explosion was quite a bit bigger than the first. All I could think of was that the other explosives had gone off too. This was confirmed when Sam said she had moved it closer to the doorway one.

I probably killed someone today but I'm not dwelling on it. I'm taking inventory instead. We reached our safe point before light faded. We thought a bit and realised we had missed out on a bigger haul of armour and equipment like night-vision goggles, but we couldn't do much about that now, and in fact we wouldn't have been able to deal such a blow. We stole a lot of weapons, though we may ditch some if there's too much trouble and we destroyed the rest...

But still I'm troubled. I just hope those people were able to get out. They'd have more chance of survival with Rani in a room if they stayed there.

I wanted to head back but Sam brought me to my senses, and I became as afraid as she was. We had screwed over some big-ass bad guys with guns and the left behind equipment of the best of the best. But then who dares wins. We dared them today... Can I really compare myself to the SAS? I'd say never again.

We realised something though. We don't have a proper plan now. I sort of thought I would think of one when I got to the camp, but now I don't have one at all...

I will say though, for now, I cannot state what weapons we have. Or their state or anything of the sort. I must keep secrets for our safety.

I hope you make another day

Day 47

Today we remained in the same place. The excuses this time? We covered so much ground yesterday, and with the plan we currently have in place both of us need to know the local area perfectly. Especially as we only have one map.

By the time we had run out of daylight we had memorised as much as we were going to. We triple checked our packing. Early start tomorrow; we've got a lot to do.

I'm afraid that's all I've got for you tonight. I have to rest.

I hope you make another day

Day 46

We covered a lot of ground today. We set out to find our goal finally instead of putting it off even further. We now reside in a undisclosed position north of the river. Covering double the distance we normally would (at least) I put it down to the weather. The wind was a heck of a lot heavier than usual and I think this encouraged us to focus on movement.

We took quiet paths that we hadn't covered as yet since the fall of the world. It was strange to walk those paths. The river was so still. I've never seen it look that way, it was kind of creepy if I'm honest.

I know it's bad but I used the time and wind to my advantage: to get some target practice. The rifle seems to cover quite a distance even in wind. I still feel bad about the loitering Rani, but in the end I cannot do much about that. The only real practice of shooting Rani is to actually shoot them. I would think of a comparison but I can't think of a decent one, the only one that springs to mind is visualising where the hole is in golf and aiming for that. The hole's right there. Why not go for it? But still each shot makes me sick. I still wonder: do they still think and scream inside their heads, and will there be a cure? Can they be saved and I am actually killing living human beings? In a way the only thing that makes me able to do it is knowing if I don't they will get someone else eventually, or even get me. Each one of them down increases my survival. Even that thought is sickening... I'm afraid that the only way to view it and stay an outside is that I have a choice, and I feel sick about it, and given the chance I wouldn't do it again. But I'm forced to by some twisted reality.

Sam practised too, she's got a good aim, probably better than me, but she can't stomach the killing of them. 'Our kin may be staggering death for us, but they are still are kin' I think is her opinion.

I won't write much tonight, I am still trying to think: it is important today. What is my 'it'. Though I wonder is there an answer? Is it like life itself with no true answer except what we define in ourselves? I guess that is what Sam means. She has chosen her 'it'; most likely her hope and determination to see the world that she now inhabits. Her observations of things like trees and plants make me wonder if she ever even took the time to see them before all of this... Regardless her purpose is not mine...

My purpose is...

I hope you make another day

Day 45

I didn't sleep much during the night, instead I sat silently listening for any noise that could mean danger. As such, by the time that Sam awoke I was exhausted. I did my best to hide this as she was in pain. The wound hadn't opened again but it was sore apparently. When she complained of pain I feared that the injection yesterday went badly, but the leg was fine.

I found some moisturiser and gave it to her to apply to sooth the pain and sat down. I fell asleep then. When I woke it was hours later and Sam was flicking through a book whilst sitting by the window.

"You know if I bore you that much..." She started. She stopped because she looked at me. She walked over and sat down and frowned. "What's wrong?"

Me "I dreamt of the eye again..."

Sam "As usual"

M "As usual, but it was you the eye was in... Since I saw that Rani I haven't seen anything else in my imagination... But that? I don't like it.

She stared for a while "Maybe it's an omen, maybe not. Not a lot we can do about it. The way I've been thinking since and mainly during my incapacitation is that we are on borrowed time. Even if we do everything right sometimes luck just won't be on our side. Luck is what keeps us alive more than anything."

M "To start yeah, luck meant everything to me; everything fell into place and saved me and got me to where I needed to be. But my luck almost ran out that day.. and since I've needed to be all that I ever could be just to make a chance of making another day... Lets just say it's all chance, then we've just been seeing things in other things that are just not there, but why? Just to make us feel better? Give us hope?"

She didn't reply
M "More to the point, when I hadn't met you I knew I could do this alone. But now I know I need you. You watch my back and keep me sane."

S "Of course assuming you aren't already insane and I'm just a manifestation of it"

M "Nice, thanks"

S "Look, neither of us know if there is anything else in the world for us. Neither of us know if our families are alive or not. My phone's almost always on but nothing. I couldn't do this without you, mainly as I'd be dead twice if you hadn't come for me both times. And to be honest I don't think of what's to come because each day is hauntingly beautiful to me, and I know you feel the same about this world. All I think is that it is important today. If I die tomorrow, I guess that's it. I don't want to, but face it, how many would feel the same, but never got the chance?"

For a moment I couldn't reply

M "So we just need to follow the cliché of taking each day as it comes then?" She nodded, I laughed a little "Fine but remember the only way you become one of them is if I do first. I won't let it any other way."

S "Agreed. And I'll keep watching your back because you are far better company than the other guys we've come across, well just about anyway.

M "And if I truly have lost everything in this world then I choose you to be the thing I live for; to be my purpose. You know just so you don't go insane"

S "Way I see it I haven't lost everything just yet. I got you, a couple of weapons, dreams and hope."

We sat and mused on this for a while. The thought of what I will see tonight in my sleep doesn't scare me as much now. I'm not psychic, it was just a manifestation of my two fears combined: the seemingly endless eyes of the Rani, and losing Sam.

I guess it's true though that we let our thoughts and imagination outweigh the facts and our senses sometimes... And though those thoughts will always lay there in contradiction to our sight and hearing, we must remember: which is real? and make the most of it.

I also keep dwelling upon what Sam said "All I think is that it is important today". What is my 'it'?

I hope you make another day