Day 105

Hello once again. I've recovered enough to be able to fight Sam off of this.

Who knows maybe at some point she will join in with her own official blog alongside me. Failing that she wants to add to her history occasionally alongside my input.

Today was quiet. We fired no more shots still, and no Rani made an appearance. It really is strange that they would just disappear. Last time it heralded an attack, but we have already had that. Glass throughout the building has already been smashed. I heard it myself.

I can only suppose that an easier source of food has been found.

Sam has told me about the house next door, and I am aware you still don't know about the details. I won't be filling you in because I haven't seen it myself yet.

I'm still tired so I want to keep this short, I've just been going out of my mind not having the energy to do this.


So it is New Year's Eve.

I almost dread to think what it will bring but at the same time there's not much worse it can do... Well obviously that's a lie. It could take Sam, who is the only person alive I know of. We could claim the Dodge guys are still kicking, but we haven't seen them in so many days we just cannot be certain. Especially with the extra damage to the camp that we caused on the way out...

I am hoping we can still fulfill my initial plan, but the longer that time goes, the less likely I will be able to do anything about it. And more to the point, the more dangerous it will become. The Rani seem to group together; we've been through this I know. But I worry: what if it could happen on a national, or global level. You could have all the Rani on the main continent of this planet all in one place and all chasing food together. Yes that could be good if there is a military force left out there, but it's hardly a compelling image. Instead of a dozen Rani it becomes a hundred. That becomes a thousand. That becomes a million... Hell without a gun I could barely stay alive with half a dozen. That scaling up does not appeal to me.

I guess in that case finding a castle of olde with fields around would be best...

But I am distracting from the point. This New Year could herald infinite good or bad. We may meet up with more survivors or we may find evidence that we are the last left.

Regardless I hope you continue to read this.

I hope you make another year

But until then I hope you make another day

Day 104

A crisis of faith?

It seems that Pete was sneaking a look on his shift and he confronted me on that issue.

His comment: 'Having a crisis of faith? I'm surprised you can say that. I have two arguments for that. 1) look at the world and how it was created. You believe He made it all. Just because something dark is happening doesn't mean He doesn't exist. The most used comment on God is that he doesn't intervene on Earth because if he did, the devil would be able to commit one act as well. So that answers why he hasn't jumped in to save us: because we did this to ourselves.'

"And 2?"

'You could argue that nothing should affect the way you thought before the end of the world. You believed in God because of all you saw could happen and did happen around you. When the Rani came to be that didn't change any of what has happened previously. It added a new element. Now unless the Rani actually makes something you saw before invalid I see no problem. It's not like it was proven that the universe was a fluke. It just shows that something has happened to humanity. I'm not sure that point makes all that much sense. I guess I mean no matter how big the negative of the Rani is, in terms of belief and memory, negative and positive have no meaning. They both exist. They both are.'

After that he just went to sleep. I suppose he may have just been pretending so that I could think, but he did it again: he threw my mindset from confusion into thought with just a few lines.

I wouldn't say crisis averted, but I think I'll be taking the scenic route towards it at least.


The Rani have been quiet today. It was weird to have silence again instead of that low murmur they seem to have. I was tempted to peek out to see if there was anything, but I'm not that much of a cat to find out.

We didn't take any shots between us today it seems. This is good, I like having the ability to defend myself and not have to run every single time a problem comes our way.

Though hiding until it passes? That is good, I can cope with that. I'm good at that.

I hope you make another day

Day 103

My hopes were not fulfilled. The Rani are still below, though now there is a lot less of them...

Our concern is that quite a pile is building up now so for the ever-so-slightly-more-intelligent Rani there is a chance they can get up to us.

I haven't become desensitised to each shot and fall, but with each I find myself better able to cope with the reflex to be sick. It's not nice. None of this world is. To believe that there is still something wonderful about this world when the dead walk amongst us? When God's rules are broken surely there is something wrong. I know it sounds stupid, but whenever thing's looked like they were falling apart I would fall back on my faith. But it's just fading from my mind and I'm scared because I don't know if there will be anything to fall back on after...

I hope you make another day

Day 102

To put it mildly; today has not been my favourite day.

To be more accurate; today could be described as bloodsport.

The plan today was to unhinge the door and ergo the ladder to the loft and let it drop down. This would prevent the Rani from being able to get to us, and at the same time we would be able to get to them.

For whatever reason the Rani are here (I blame the scent we leave behind as we move) they are staying put. Upon opening the door we were greeted by a crack from it landing on a few followed by a show of hands from below.

I'm not great at maths but just by looking at them I could tell it wasn't going to be fun.

So we lined up shots (with silencers on obviously) with the weapons we had the most ammo with. I thought that at the very least we would get some semi decent target practice. But then I fired. I took one out. My heart wrenched and I was sick. I instantly knew how Pete felt shooting that guy point blank.

Shooting them when they are a horde chasing you is one thing; you can almost forget what they are and just pull the trigger, but when they look at you with almost human eyes with a hint of regret... I just can't cope with it...

It was a very long day and we only shot a few, but it was enough for me. It was more than enough...

I wonder, as I sit here with just a cloth pinned at each corner hiding them from me, if they will be frightened off.

I hope they will be frightened off.

I hope you make another day

Day 101

It rained today. It's strange to have rain after such a long time of just white outside. There is a lot of clearing houses and trees outside I bet.

Pity I had to just listen to it while the Rani are downstairs.

I had an idea today which I shared with Pete. We will be attempting it tomorrow but I need to prepare it tonight. I'll let you know.

I hope you make another day

Day 100

It's hard to believe it has been 100 days since this began. It might as well be a decade. The faces and voices of my family are slowly fading from my mind and it's scary. If I forget them it's almost as if they never happened...

It got cold last night. At least 10 below if not more. It's almost as cold now so I'm in no mood to write. I apologise. With any luck, Pete will take over this within a few days.
I will however try to continue my early days story when he carries on, just to clear things up a bit

I hope you make another day

Day 99

So it is Christmas.

I woke Pete up early to give him his gift. It was one of those old pocket watch things. I normally don't take things from people's homes but I though it would be okay, considering that it was from his home. He didn't and hasn't said anything about it but just pointed at a pocket on his bag. Upon opening it I found a brand new notepad with pen with a note on the front page that I don't want to discuss.

We cooked rations and talked about what we would have been doing normally. Turns out he has his close family around and I have my extended family staying at my grandparents cottage. And though vastly different on the face of it, they are remarkably similar. I must admit though I miss the food...

Okay the truth: I miss the people. I know they have to be dead. We hadn't even met a Rani face to face. I only saw one pass the window as we hid early on. So I doubt they had the experience to survive. I didn't. The only way I did was Pete. I wonder if my care here makes us even? At least it does for fixing my hole... The stitches are out by the way. He hasn't said I don't think.

It hasn't snowed today but it really was cold. Easily 5-10 below.

The Rani are still below as well. Mrrhhhing to themselves as usual. I braved moving over to them today to try and see through a hole. About 5 passed in the minute I looked. I felt uneasy after that so I left it. I really have no idea what to do because it's not exactly nice using our makeshift toilet in the corner, even if the building is big. Pete has said that we should clear that up before leaving if possible. Mainly because if others come and face that it's not exactly pretty.

Pete is looking better and staying awake longer but I will be doing these entries for a while yet. He's not able to concentrate that well on things like this.

I'm fine now thanks to catching up on sleep. Reading books still but they won't last long with how addictive they are...

I hope you had a good Christmas. I didn't have the best one, but in surviving and living another day, week, month, I have gained a satisfaction in the idea of this day. In a strange way I have earned this. True a lot of the time I have followed Pete but would he have survived without me? Maybe I'm just having a bit of a superiority complex right now but I like to think he needs me just as much as I need him...

I hope you make another day

Day 98

It's Christmas Eve today. I didn't realise until I woke up. Normally a lot would be going on at home, but there isn't a thing such as normal now is there?

I'm not going to post much today. I intend to tomorrow but right now I need to pray. Me and my family would always go to evening mass but obviously... I have to do it my way.

With the Rani still there and Pete asleep again after his shift of guard duty I am left with prayer on my knees with my weapons by my side. Would He approve of this? I hope he doesn't mind...

Merry Christmas to everyone, and I hope your day will be as bright as it can be.

I hope you make another day

Day 97

'So here's a question that we haven't asked yet: Why now?

Forget about what did cause this and suppose for a while. If man did it. Why did it take so long to mess it up and actually commit this destruction. If it was God, then why now? He have not sinned more than a month previously... Was it to spite or save. Is it evolution and a freak genetic break that caused this change. If so the odds of it happening at that time are astronomically small. If the first outbreak didn't occur when it did, neither of us would be here now. I would have been out in town with friends, and you would be lost on that Day... whichever it was now.'

So Peter's been awake a bit but he is still ill. It was Day 12 if you forgot. It's not something I will forget.

He has a point about the whole chance thing but I don't know... Although I would like to think there is a reason it is difficult to argue why it occurred right now. At the same time it is difficult to argue why it should happen another time. It distracted me enough from the Rani to relax a while.

Shortly after realising that I fell asleep. I woke with a start and my finger depressed on my gun. Nothing happened. Pete sat next to me drearily holding a gun himself.

'I put the safety on. Didn't fancy you shooting the place up. I quite like it here'
"Smart but for you having the flu and you could fall asleep"
'True but I decided to stay awake so you could sleep. Seeing it has been about twelve hours I was right. But now I have to sleep, sorry'

And he settled down again. I flicked his gun's safety, then mine, and sat ready but reading a book. Ice Station isn't bad you know. A bit graphic but considering our world now? A bit tame...

I hope you make another day

Day 96

I'm sorry I haven't slept and literally only just managed to get signal enough to post something.

They have been making their infernal noise all day but they don't seem to be able to open the door. I have piled some of the heaviest stuff I could find upon it so when or if it opens they will be unable to progress. At least for a little while.

I hope to have better news tomorrow.

I hope you make another day

Day 95

Weather: Tiny flurries all day but it keeps building
Rani activity: ?

Pete's state: ?

My state: ?

Well to summarize the day. The Rani tried to break in. Tried being a lie. They did. But luckily I heard it. I grabbed all the things that were down below. Now we are here. Stuck with them around us. It seems that the Rani want to break into everything if it isn't broken for long enough. I don't pretend to know though. All I know is that the stairs to the loft, which are closed, and then my gun are all that stand between life and death right now.

Their groaning is winding me up... But Pete is asleep still even though I've tried waking him up. All we can do is hide again.

I hope you make another day

Day 94

Weather: It snowed a lot today. It was nice to watch and just relax. It made me forget for a while about all that has happened. It's so strange. In looking back Pete said the same thing. It's not that we are really all that alike I don't think. I think it is more the whole thing that there is so little left that we see that reminds us of good times. The last snow was only February. I had a great time skiving from classes for it then making a fool of myself in getting pneumonia. I'm not being that stupid again.
It's a shame that the Rani have to move past the window though. The world looks pretty much perfect in white.

Rani activity: They are still moving about out there though it's quite a bit harder to see them. I must say though they confuse me daily. They are slowing right down because of the cold, but at the same time they are moving almost like they are human. I'm not stupid though, I know they can run, and will run if I go outside... again...

Pete's state: He is move lucid which is nice because now I don't have to talk to myself which I am sure he is absolutely thrilled about. I haven't spoken to him about the other house yet, but I guess I will have to soon.

My state: I am in a contemplative mood tonight and I'm wondering about what to do and with lack of a better alternative:

Day 1 - Sam's Side

The engine started, which was a good start. I was still in a state of shock and it wasn't until much later that I realised that I actually took in visually what was going on, but I didn't hear a single word.

It's weird really, like watching a film on mute or a silent movie I suppose. I could guess what they were saying and I think I responded but I just kind of went with it.

I saw the other families panicking and packing up but trying to fit more in their cars than us. This was obviously a silly thing to do because if the car got stuck or they had to run then they would have to abandon things and worse they would have to decide at a later date what to leave behind. Dad was reckless yes, but if we had been in the middle of nowhere and had broken down we would have been better off emotionally.

But sadly luck was not with us anyway. By the time we reached the road so had hundreds of families. My Dad looked like he swore and hit the steering wheel a number of times. Then we turned around. We arrived back forewarning the neighbours. Most heeded our warning, and from that I then remember standing in the middle of the road with almost the whole neighbourhood before we split up and locked up almost all the houses. We left one unlocked and stayed there to start. The plan was that we would stay about a week in each house then move up the street, in theory meaning we could survive about 6-8months depending on how much we ate and froze.

Families locked all their food away appropriately and then we chose number 4. The people who lived there (a family of 5) had bailed on us. It seemed the most logical place to hide first seeing as we couldn't lock it and get back into it at a later date.

-------

I hope you make another day

Day 93

Weather: Colder still. I hate the cold quite a bit.

Rani activity: Lower again. Though I think some were walking into the walls downstairs this morning, but I don't know what to think about that... I should be careful and take note of it. They could be up to something; assuming they are able to think

Pete's state: Same as yesterday

My state: I've been getting things ready for another cold day ahead. I've also been trying to learn the ordinance survey maps so that I can actually be useful out there. My mind is buzzing with B routes. But looking online I think I'm understanding better at what Pete is planning.

What I found yesterday is slightly bothering me but with the warmth it is right now I have been watching over Pete and getting food and stuff ready. I still don't like this writing thing but I'm trying to figure it out. I promise I'll try tomorrow.

I hope you make another day

Day 92

Weather: Cold still. No snow though. I imagine everywhere else is getting some. That is normally the case...

Rani activity: Seems to be reducing at the moment but not by much. I would suspect that this is the horde we came across when we first got to 'this village'

Pete's state: Still bad but he's eating and all that so it's not the worst state that anyone has ever been in.

My state: Tired. I took a risk today and left this house to explore next door. Pete won't be impressed but I found some interesting stuff that we'll have to talk about. But for tonight I'm tired. Getting around while avoiding Rani isn't easy and takes a lot out of you.

I hope you make another day

Day 91

Weather: Cold. It snowed today, admittedly not much but it surely is a sign of things to come.

Rani activity: The number still seems around the same though it is hard to tell as they are moving about less

Pete's state: He seems about the same; at the very least there is no deterioration yet.

My state: After last night I am much more awake and continued my duties of finding food and stuff around the house. Even with the number of Rani around they still haven't damaged any of the building as of the moment which is always a positive. I also thought about the Dodge men today and I wonder how they are lasting now. In a way I don't want to know because the idea of them scares me. Even from the building across the road from the police station, in which it turns out are nice carpets, I still felt seriously ill at ease being that near them. Being at the SAS camp? I don't want to think about it. Me finding our weapons was a fluke. I screwed up and did something I shouldn't of. I just opened a door without thinking about what lay behind. I was pretty much on autopilot.

It's cold tonight so I won't be writing more. There's no signal in the loft and I intend to close the door and rest and read.

I hope you make another day

Day 90

Weather: Cold. Rainy.

Rani activity: The number of them seems about the same

Pete's state: After last night's post I took him upstairs. We are there now resting. I haven't done a lot today other than look after him. His temperature is the same as yesterday so I'm hoping this is as bad as it gets...

My state: Tired. I just want sleep.

I hope you make another day

Day 89

This will be a quick post today sorry.

Weather: It's cold still and it was pretty cloudy so the world just felt gloomy.

Rani activity: Increasing further still. This is the main reason for the short post. With the number out there I have to make sure all the important stuff is packed up so if worst comes to worst we can escape with the bare minimum.

Pete's state: I managed to get him conscious for about an hour to eat and stuff, but he's not looking good. I made him shower to try and freshen up. I reminded him to avoid water in his mouth etc as he seemed for a moment to forget and just sway...

My state: A little on edge would be an understatement. The number of Rani around is uncomfortable, especially considering I don't really know the area. Sure I've been looking at the maps like Pete said but I just can't absorb it as easily.

I scouted the loft today. There is a lot of crap but it's seriously well insulated and with how there are panels half put up it's almost like they (the owners of the building) were in the process of converting it to an extra room. There's enough space to stand even near the edges which is pretty cool. I've made it ready so if I hear them break in, or even see them moving too close I will be shifting myself and my company there. Dead end? So? It wouldn't be the first time.

That's it for tonight. I have to keep watch. I need sleep but I guess to do that I will have to move us both upstairs first...

I hope you make another day

Day 88

Weather: Wet and cold. It definitely is headed towards snow again.

Rani activity: Increasing. Not just around the house but in general. It concerns me because if things go south then I don't know what to do; it's not like I can just leave him, and its definitely the case I can't carry him out because the Rani will get us no doubt about that... Just got to pray I guess.
I suppose I should mention that. I am religious. Christian to be specific. Yeah it's pretty generic in England but at the same time people never seem to be all that open about it and I'm guessing people would lose faith in these seemingly 'end of days'. But I put this to you: out of nowhere I find Pete who saves me, and I save him. Both physically and from losing our minds. The chances of our meeting are so small that I just can't believe it is just luck. Maybe I'm a fool for my faith, but it's my choice if I want to be foolish.

Pete's state: Whatever it is it's not lucid, he's just mumbling stuff incoherently and his temperature is über high. I've kept his covers on him regardless as it is actually cold but I'm worried I don't actually know what to do if it gets more serious, all I can give him are flu pills because I don't know what else to do...

My state: A bit stressed when you factor in the whole Rani population and dependence of my friend upon me. I can't do much about that now however.

Day 1 - Sam's side

So we sat there. In awe I guess. I'm not sure it directly shows the feeling though. I'm meaning in the sense of awestruck like you can be if you see a car crash or a terrible thing. It's strange but awe just sounds like a positive word in most cases (ignoring awful obviously, though it can be used in the way of awfully funny...)
A short while later my dad came through. Pale. He had been over a neighbour's house. He rushed upstairs and grabbed things out of each of our wardrobes then threw them into cases and in turn threw them in the car.
He returned to us. Get in we're getting out and going to my parents house. We got up and got in the car.

Next time: No turning back. No left turns, no right turns. Time to walk.

I must admit his sign off is actually starting to mean something to me.

I hope you make another day

Day 87

Weather: Dull and cold. Feels like the freezing temperatures may be coming back

Rani activity: Low. I saw a few in the distance but none within at least 500metres throughout the day

Pete's state: Still sleeping loads. His temperature appears to be the same. This could be a long sit in.

My state: More focused than yesterday. I'm sort of over my little breakdown from my memories. If there is anything I have learnt during this time it is that I have to remember all I have seen and just deal with it because every moment of doubt is a moment I could die...

Day 1 - Sam's side.

So the news flickered back and forth for a while. Until more breaking news arrived. Worse than before: it was a wide scale emergency. The report flashed to a press conference in an undisclosed place in which a military official stood, pale faced. I cannot remember his words clearly but they went something like:
"People of the United Kingdom, and indeed the greater world. This announcement is following an incident yesterday which we thought was an isolated case. It turns out it now isn't. At roughly 4pm in the city of Hereford there was an attack made upon a couple of young men. The guilty party was, for the lack of a better phrase, a mindless beast that only sought to injure. Following this one of the victims was killed. The other escaped unharmed. As of 8am this morning there were no less than 50 duplicate situations. The truth that has been hidden from the media is that these attackers appear to be people who fall near death or who have died. After a short post mortem of the first attacker and victim, scientists have decided to call these things Reanimated-Sapiens. For the purposes of conserving time in discussion please refer to them as Reanimates.
We are advising that people stay inside and barricade themselves in. Another statement will be issued in the next few days. I will answer a few questions."

First 'What has caused this?'
Reply "I don't know"
Second 'What will the government do about it?'
Reply "I don't know"
Third 'What is the best way to directly defend ourselves from these Reanimates?'
Reply "I don't know"
Fourth 'How can we tell if someone will change into one of them?'
"I don't know"
Fifth 'How long has the government known about this?'
"I don't know"
Sixth 'Are other countries affected as well?'
"I don't know"
Seventh 'Will we survive this?'
"I don't know. I'm sorry, time's up, please leave before it becomes unsafe"

He left and the press conference ended. For those interested no further 'official' statements came. Only those from radio DJ's and the like.

--

I hope you make another day

Day 86

I'm still not sure how to structure this so I'll just summarise

Weather: rained a little bit

Rani activity: same as yesterday. Five or ten passed the house, with none taking an interest in it or us.

Pete's state: been asleep for about 20 hours. Woke him to give him food. As much as he is annoyed by it I am giving him the rations as they have the proteins and all that which his body will need.

My state: A bit tired but for the most part I am okay. Considering that I am really the only thing between the Rani and us right now I am pretty relaxed.

Day 1 - Sam's side.

I woke up by my alarm about 9ish I guess and got myself ready for a day lounging about. I had to tidy my room but I would probably put that off until Sunday and then say I couldn't do it as I had some coursework to do for English Lit or Art or something. I didn't by the way

I walked downstairs to find my mum have a look of horror upon her face. It was the news. I sat down to listen to it but instantly regretted it. It showed a crime scene cordoned off by the police in the centre of town. I was actually amazed that they showed Hereford on the main news, it normally gets forgotten. A clip showed the blood then mobile phone footage of the attack. This person was on top of another and it looked like it was ripping him apart. Someone picked themselves from the ground next to it and tried pulling the attacker off but failed and got pushed back with such force they collapsed to the ground. Others then tried to help. Then police came and the footage was stopped. The newscasters apologised saying they shouldn't have been showing the footage as it was part of an investigation.

-------
I'm sorry but I can't continue right now. I just remembered how I felt watching that.

I hope you make another day

Day 85

It was a pretty boring day in all today. It's warm so there's no snow left which is a good thing, but it would mean when we leave the house we'll have to decide whether urban or natural camouflage would be better.

A few of the Rani passed earlier. They are weird if you watch them properly. Sometimes I forget they are not really human any more and question why they are moving like they do. It's so disjointed and awkward.

I'm not sure where to put this so I'll just put it here. This is Sam talking, not Pete. From what I can tell he's got the flu; it came on pretty fast but he's pepped up on flu pills so we just have to wait it out I guess.

I'm doing this because he wants a full record of what happens, from bad to good including illness and how to deal with it. From my understanding he wants people to see how we survive in the hopes that they will learn things and pick them up.

I guess what is important is what I've said above, but I might as well fill you in with more detail over what happened for me before I met Pete on Day12. You may remember from that post I was against posting these things. I am, but he is so adamant about it I just gave in because it's easier that way. Besides I may learn a bit about how he thinks this way.

I'll start tomorrow with Day1 - Sam's side. But for now I'm going to check on him again.

Goodnight from me but I guess I'd better end with his sign off.

I hope you make another day

Day 84

The snow is clearing pretty well now. Another day and it will all be gone. To be honest though I'm less so concerned with that. I currently have a fever and I've barely been able to stay awake all day.

Today we took turns on lookout but Sam took the most knowing I'm not well. She managed to find a safe and it's emergency open key. Inside were the codes to the alarm for the building along with things like the computer and various other documents etc. It now means we don't always have to be on watch as we will know if there is danger around.

I can tell she is concerned but I really think this is just a bit of a cold, it'll be fine in a couple of days.

The house we were at appears clear now. I still don't know what happened there. I almost don't want to know...

Until tomorrow

I hope you make another day

Day 83

I haven't slept more than an hour. Nothing. At all. All day until... I managed to find a window facing the house we were in previously. My heart almost stopped. The house was trashed. All windows smashed and doors broken in. Rani all over. It didn't make sense. The number of Rani were the same amount roughly as before they vanished. It didn't make sense. But then suddenly I had double vision but blinked it away. Sam found me after a couple of minutes.

She looked out then at me in disbelief. She appeared to try to find words then shook her head. She walked off. I followed her through and when I got there she was facing the window.

"Look enough weird stuff has happened with the dead walking Pete"
"I know but..."
"No" she interrupted, "don't but this. I don't like this. How did you know? No don't... I..." She looked at me and just couldn't speak, but nor could I. I embraced her until I found the words.
"I think I should have turned once... I think that's why I know..."
"What, with the leisure pool stuff?"
"Maybe, but I think on Day 4 I was turning during the morning; I had so much contact with them and I was grabbed a number of times..."
After a moment, "You think we could use this, like you did?"
"I'm not sure. I kind of don't want to, in case it's a sign I'm changing slowly..."
"We'll take it as it goes then yeah?"
"Yeah... What's for lunch then?"

That was that. It doesn't make sense but I don't want to think about it any more, at least for now. If it happens again then I'll have to do something about it.

I hope you make another day

Day 82

So after yesterday's post I opened the door. I wasn't quiet about it either. Sam shouted at me to grab my gun when she realised what I was doing.

It was clear.

And I'm not just talking about the corridor. I'm talking house. I'm talking a clear view of about 500metres around the house.

I've never seen them disperse so quickly and my blood just went cold. Sam spoke before I could with a succinct "The hell? When did they leave?"

"You didn't see either?"

"No...?"

"We should have, one of us should have... Get ready, we're leaving"

We were ready within a few minutes. We left. We travelled for about an hour slowly through the cold. -8/9 at least. We found a safe enough place to stay, got in without breaking anything and secured ourselves. Upon looking around it actually seemed like we had found the safest place to stay as yet. Words cannot describe it but rest assured: nothing's going to get within 50 feet of the building without us knowing let alone get close to us. We've reinforced the taking turns on watch rule. We simply cannot risk them appearing just as they have left.

The day has not got warmer so far. All the wires, and pretty much anything if I think about it, outside are just beautiful with the amount of frost on it. I would say spider's webs have increased in size by a good half centimetre in thickness for each bit of web. But as usual the beauty of this world is betrayed by two things: 1) so few to notice it. 2) death around every corner.

Still no Rani. Even in using my binoc's I cannot see anything in the distance. I just can't explain their sudden disappearance. My rifle is ready to reintroduce itself if they decide to visit though...

But before I sign off I just want to say one more thing. Just in the vain/vague (not sure which applies) hope that she is still alive. Happy Birthday

I hope you make another day

Day 81

Sometimes I worry that I am starting to go crazy. I swear I could hear them breathe outside the door. Rani don't breathe. I've had them at my door enough times to know that to be true.

My mind keeps wandering to Day 4. So here is a short amount of recall.

So we stopped and waited for some unspoken reason. I was disorientated so I just sat down and tried to stay awake. I half managed that. I pretty much zoned out allowing my mind to shut down a bit, this of course meant that I wasn't paying attention to what they were doing or saying.

Instead I was treated to heavy breathing (I guess my own) and flashes of those damned eyes... Soon things pieced together more in a way that is indescribable. For a split second I felt like I was one. I actually understood how they thought. Truth is I still do even if it is only a fleeting understanding. I put that as my reason for survival, as my reason for life. The more I think about it though it makes me wonder if it was more important than that. Another what if: what if that moment was the moment I could have reanimated. Did I die? I know it is just another supposition, but I just don't get how I've gotten to understanding their movements, even predicting them. I've never been good really at anything, so how did I manage to become good at beating the odds? I'm no hunter, no tracker, no trained survivalist. I always used to play games in which you had to survive, but this is different. No replays, no cheats, and you have to physically endure whatever is thrown at you. I just don't get it. Why did I of all people survive? I know that is ironic as it was one of the first things I said in my second post (Day 7) but even though I can explain it away with the fact I HAVE it doesn't mean that I should have...

After a while I was awoken by Charlie tapping me on the head. She smiled and pulled me to my feet. And started walking. The others joined her after a few steps, so I kept up. I was less tired now, and I took more attention of the surroundings. I got the feeling I had seen this area in passing but had not actually stepped there. Buildings, buildings, buildings. It wasn't long until I had roughly placed myself slightly further South than where I had met the group. I thought it was a little strange considering we had initially headed North, but at that point I had a few, hopeful, ideas. Mainly that their 'base' was here or that they knew the direct South route was dangerous. They continued their frequent stops, but as I was less fatigued it didn't bother me as anything but an inconvenience.

Regardless I didn't really let on that I knew where we were. It wasn't a case of me hiding facts, I just didn't see it as important. This could be another reason I survived: they had misjudged my confusion and level of deprivation. My watch now read 3am. I estimated walking times and I think I slept for about an hour and a half. It's not a huge amount but 'power naps' are supposed to be good in the short term as they allow you to focus but fail to restore any energy.

--

A thought screams at me; one that scares me to the core. The reason I am reminded of that day now... The breathing I heard as I slept. It was the same I heard at the door not a few hours ago. My heart is fluttering and not in the good way... Something's not right here.

I hope you make another day

Day 80

It got cold again last night and there is a serious frost that has lingered along with a pretty dense fog. The Rani aren't making any noise but I bet myself that was due to the cold as well.

The proof: I opened the door just the smallest amount I could and instantly hands tried to get me. I fired a shot off and the hands receded. Another day, another waste.

Though there is not a lot we can do about it.

I tried one of the ration packs today. Didn't kill me, I suppose that is a plus. Not ideal that it was a mushroom flavour one. I'm just saving the 'good' ones for later.

I hope you make another day

Day 79

I didn't sleep last night. They were at the room's door trying to break in. Strangely there isn't all that many outside so we could in theory get out the window here and make a break for it but I'm just too tired for that.

It's strange though they are more scratching the door than hitting it. I've never heard them do that before...

I would say more but I can't really think clearly. Sun's been out, its warmer but still cold. The snow is melting more. It's going to be really slushy tomorrow.

I hope you make another day

Day 78

It got a lot warmer over today. It's now in the positive figures. It means, annoyingly, that the snow will melt and be slush meaning that we will not be able to move silently for a good few days, and that’s assuming it stays warmer. If it goes colder again we will have issues with ice.

It was warm enough to take a layer of clothing we were wearing off while we moved but annoyingly the Rani still were lingering around the same area as yesterday so we had to back track to try and use the other road which would pretty much take us out of the village and circle around the outer limit for a while before joining another artery road. Lots of walking through country paths.

So we started to circle around and as we got to the end of the first corner of that road I sighed. More Rani However there were a number of houses nearby. We chose to attempt to get there even if it was only to scout the area.

We pretty much crawled along and twice froze in fear as a Rani turned to us but they didn't notice us. I guess because of the Arctic gear we have on.

We made it after an hour of slow progress. The house was open, but only by an upstairs window. This meant that we would have to climb and it would be cold inside but it didn't seem like we had a choice. Sam went first and I covered us to make sure Rani didn't come towards us. She used the drainpipe to climb up but towards the top she struggled because of the weight we were carrying and she slipped. Not enough to fall down but the noise made attracted the attention of the Rani. I turned and fired a few shots at the window then hit it with the butt of the rifle and turned to fire at the, now running, Rani.

I shouted to Sam to drop down and get in the window. She did then shouted to me to get in while she fired some shots. We rushed to the apparent living room door and slammed it behind us. I shoved a small table the occupants had as an ornament against the door and the wall then we rushed upstairs to the bedroom and barricaded that.

I know it wasn't her fault and I guess the ice wouldn't have helped but I was annoyed by it all. The only bright sides are that all the Rani will be in one place again so we should be able to move out soon and that we took about about 20 or so between us. Our shots were not that accurate under pressure though so we wasted a full clip each which is now reloaded. Good practice for experience with the weapons though.

I hope you make another day

Day 77

We left that house today leaving our footprints in the un-sodden snow. It wasn't fresh by then as it has been a few days since it first settled but it was still a sight to see: the world was white. There was only a small amount of the roofs which had melted snow, indicating that they still had heating on, but these were the houses which had the remains in so we didn't check to find the living.

We instead headed to a house slightly further from the main road. I had seen, through my kite sight, yesterday that all the windows and doors were intact meaning either survivors or at least some more food.

We opened the back-door which was unlocked and before us lay a blood trail straight out of the building. I backtracked to the garage which was ajar and opened it finding the former inhabitant of the house. He had impaled his head upon a harpoon before death but looking at the rest of him it looked like he had already been attacked. He just wanted to end it before becoming one of them...

Heading back to the house we found a green bag by the start of the trail. We opened it and our luck seemed to have changed. It was full of survival stuff. Including things we hadn't really thought of.

So called 'instant' bbqs were interesting, but much more so was my attention drawn to a box. A Coleman stove. Attached to which was a screwdriver and a hammer. I remembered vaguely being told that Coleman stoves used petrol. Something that would be easily accessible in most areas. I put it into the keep pile.

There were some thermal underclothes and a one man tent. We decided to take all these things by changing into some and packing the rest. The tent would be good even if it was small. It would be something to get out of the wind with.

Pouring the bag out we found military rations. Whoever this guy was he had a lot of interests and experience. We found on the couch three extra sets of clothing I like the look of. Arctic, urban, and natural camouflage suits with the correct webbing. They were a size too big for me and two for Sam but we took them. One of each.

I took my bags off. Now it was too much to hold them as they were. Instead I loaded my things into his bag as best I could trying to remember packing order from scouts. I kept my emergency bag the same as it was. Sam found a similar bag brand new upstairs. He had obviously preferred the used one.

When we were ready we looked like we were going for a camping trip more than a couple of days out like we had previously. Both of us dressed in Arctic attire for the time being and both carrying a good 10-20pounds more weight. It was heavy and we both needed help putting them on but when set correctly it was fine.

I was dubious about our running ability so Sam volunteered to test it. She ran out of the building and back covering a good 200m in total distance. She ran pretty fast but she was tired after. She wasn't even carrying her full compliment of weapons then.

We decided to carry our old bags along with us for a while and figured the fastest way to ditch the big bags if we needed to. Our new rule? Run for a while but if we get tired shout and we will just have to use some of the ammo we have. We're not SAS, we're not even the run of the mill soldier so the weight we are carrying is huge. I can tell we won't be able to keep walking as much for a while in terms of consecutive days purely as we will start to ache and we don't want that in the situations we can find ourselves in.

We managed to move up a couple hundred meters up the main road today after that but the Rani lingered more there so we held ourselves back. Progress is still good. Keeping positive.

I hope you make another day

Day 76

Our plan to explore the undamaged ruins around us didn't come to fruition today. Sam overslept. I woke her eventually at 3. Considering my rule of wake at 6 and find a place to stay at 12 I think we overshot a little.

I counted 4 Rani throughout the day but I probably missed a few. I was thinking again. Less than a week to someone's birthday and they'll never see it. At least not with their own eyes.

I know that in 'normal' society you are supposed to love your family and they are supposed to love you but that doesn't mean you have to right? So that means you can even choose your family... Even so I would choose them. Partially due to the whole thing that I wouldn't bee the me I am now without them but more so they have looked after me throughout the thick and thin of it.

I miss them. And knowing her birthday is only a few days away makes me miss her the more...

It's still snowing a bit but its not sticking all that well. I guess I should think positive: I can see where the Rani have been. I sort of see a path they haven't tread yet which will be the first call of action.

I hope you make another day

Day 75

Today was D-Day (D for downstairs). We made our way to the stairs and moved the things from the top leaving only the cupboard. We decided that I would be the best to go over while Sam stayed ready for if I had to rush back. I say 'we' but it wasn't really a group decision; it was more a 'she' but I don't mind or hold any resentment about it, though I am going to remember for a later date.

I understand her reasoning though. She doubts herself from the injury. She also knows that she still owes me from our meeting. She claims that we are even as she distracted them and pulled me so I didn't fall off the roof but the look in her eyes when she brings that up makes it look like she feels that I didn't just save her then but from the entire situation. Maybe it's just a damsel complex from how I dived in without thinking. Maybe she feels she wouldn't have made it this far without me. I'm damn sure I wouldn't have made it here without her. I would still be hiding around the south side houses. I wouldn't have got the courage to act upon my plans. That is why I owe her more than she owes me.

On that topic I miss the golf clubs. It's a shame we had to leave them when we got the weapons, but at least we left a few in each of the houses we stayed in just so people can have a chance themselves.

So I climb over the barrier with two weapons on me. I left my rifle upstairs as it was too bulky in such a small area. I swept the rooms. All clear but for one stuck in the downstairs toilet. A silenced bullet settled that one down. I went back to the stairs and told Sam to keep a look out for any Rani moving towards the building in case they knew I had killed that one some how. They probably didn't but you never know with the Rani.

I checked the cupboards and found a couple of stray water bottles. Best before 11-09-10. Better than nothing.

I failed to find anything truly useful so I turned the kettle on and poured that water in. When it was ready I took a few pot noodles out. Both had mushroom flavour but we needed the extra nutrients in that and not just our diet of biscuits and crackers. Enough was left over for a cup of tea, though it would be black. I took the pots up then followed again with the teas.

It was strange to eat warm food after such a long time with it though I knew we would be needing such things more and more if this cold stayed with us.

After a while Sam looked up and said "So, what do you think our chances really are?"

Struggling to eat another mouthful I washed it down with the bitterness of tea. Even though it's taste was strong I suddenly remembered how much I missed it. "Depends. Our chances of what? Making another day?"

"No, no. Our chances of finding others. Of doing this plan of yours. Of making it until new years..."

I interrupted her. "Our chances of finding others? I don't know, but I found you. Your family lived in a house until bad luck occurred. We saw the Dodge guys with that family or at least family-esque group. Of this plan? Don't ask. It's just an idea. Simply there are three potential safe areas in this situation. One is where I worked but I doubt it really is safe because of the main entrance. One is the SAS camp but that isn't going to work. There is only one left, and that is where we are going. And the year? We've made it 75 days. It's only 30 until the end of the year. I have no question that we will make it there.

We have to just keep going regardless of questions. Imagine we were the last two left in England or even Europe but there were just ten people in America or Russia. That's twelve people and that's pretty much a community. Hell a twelfth of the planet each I guess." I sipped my tea again. My answer was and is rubbish. I just know that I have to keep going. If I stop I'll give up and just die. And until there is proof that this whole this cannot be reversed. Or proof that we are the last alive I will not stop. I cannot stop because those facts mean that I have a responsibility to something. A legacy or a future for all of us...

Sam remained quiet and carried on eating. But I just showed that to Sam considering it was better than my actual words. She understands what I really meant now. She smiled honestly today, and not just due to humour but a new bit of hope of self belief. Either way tomorrow we search for more supplies in the bloodied houses of ... This village...

I hope you make another day

Day 74

So it snowed last night. Any other time it would be amazing. But with the end of the world? The lingering red is leaking through and the Rani increase this by leaving a trail of a foul looking colour. Whatever I've said about them before in terms of not bleeding or whatever was a lie.

Downstairs seems clear from the lack of sound. Tomorrow we will attempt to check the food there. Today we are playing various forms of poker.

I hope you make another day

Day 73

Today was a long day. Mainly as Sam was engrossed in one of the books I took from home and so didn't want to be disturbed. The other deciding factor was watching the Rani.

It was cold today. I would have to say colder than we've had. I'd hate to think what the rest of the country is going through. Scotland is always getting worse weather.

But the Rani here seem to stay pretty much stationary. Sure they move a few steps every couple of hours then stop again but it's strange. It's almost like they are hampered by the cold. I thought that until I saw a few splinter off and chase something. They moved just as fast.

It would seem they conserve energy in the cold and nothing more. A concern to be noted: you can never underestimate the Rani. They will always do something new.

I hope you make another day

Day 72

The barricade held last night so now I reside in a bedroom. The Rani seem to be slowing down quite a bit. It could be something to do with the temperature outside. -5 at 10am isn't pretty and it looks to get worse.

Bright side is being down a level we can stretch properly which is nice. But with looking out the window I am less and less enthusiastic about approaching that world.

I apologise again for not writing much, I have been sleeping most of the day. Not really feeling lethargic or anything but just catching up considering I have only been having 6 or so hours a night since this started.

I hope you make another day

Day 71

We had to get out of the loft for a while to find more layers because it was cold last night. There is a lot of ice on the ground.

Rani numbers are low. We barricaded the stairs a bit more but in doing so we got the attention of the few Rani around the house so to make sure we're safe it will be another night in the loft to see if our barricade holds. Then finally we will be able to keep a look out for any threats on a permanent basis instead of only when we go to get quilts and the rest.

The only real good news is that I've caught up on my sleep and Sam's injury no longer needs monitoring. For the safe side I will be keeping the stitches in another week.

I hope you make another day

Day 70

It snowed a little today. It also got down to at least -5celsius.

It's not a fun time to be living in an apocalypse. I guess had we lived in Russia or Canada or the rest of those countries we would at least be prepared for the weather more easily. British weather is so unpredictable that it wouldn't surprise me if tomorrow was sunny.

I had a look myself today. It was my turn apparently. They do seem to be clearing out. Tomorrow would be a good estimate for when we can leave the loft for good and enforce the stairs safely.

Based upon what I have learnt I would have to say a good two days minimum before it's safe enough to move out and on to our current objective.

I didn't sleep much but I have slept a bit so that helps if there is an unexpected situation. With how quiet it has been getting we may get a bit more tonight.

A point Sam made was it might be an idea to shadow the horde when it moves out considering it is moving in the direction we want to go. There would be less chance of an unwanted meeting with our favourite reanimated people.

I hope you make another day

Day 69

Today's report from Sam: 'even less of them a couple days I guess'

I have to agree with her, even though I haven't seen them I managed to catch a couple of hours sleep today because it was quieter.

Our only problem now? Running low on food again if we ration a bit more we have a couple of days but it's not exactly healthy foodstuff. I'm thinking we're going to need a proper cooked meal before we move out to ensure we aren't starving our bodies of anything vital any more. It may be worth picking up vitamin supplements and the rest for emergency situations when we run out of certain things. I.e. Vitamin C/ Protein. Though I have to say I don't much like the look of those protein shakes and I'm none too convinced they are actually healthy for you especially when you aren't eating properly beside them...

But enough for now. Sleep is still calling

I hope you make another day

Day 68

Sam had a look on the first floor today while I still tried to sleep. She says it still doesn't look fantastic with at least 3 or 4 dozen viewable at any given window. From a glance downstairs apparently there is a good dozen inside as well. Luckily they appear to be roaming around all the houses so we cannot be singled out by any hostile forces shall we say.

It is looking increasingly like we will have to make a stand or try to sneak away house by house somehow. Staying here isn't really a viable option.

It's even colder today. Frost outside. Outlook bleak

But I'm still struggling to sleep. Every crash sets me off. In a way we're safe. The Rani cannot get to us even if they got past the stairs. And until the Rani are gone, no human can get us without putting themselves in a huge amount of danger.

Sam doesn't seem to be struggling now, so again, at least one of us is working at a good level.

I hope you make another day

Day 67

They still persist. Why can't they just leave? Their milling about is creating such a pitch of noise that I cannot sleep a wink.

I half want to go to the stairs and just start taking them out, but doing so would mean using ammo that we may desperately need later. Equally we may never get the chance to use it so why protect it?

It's slowly getting colder and colder up here and even with extra layers on it's not exactly comfortable. Before long we are probably going to have to move about in the extra layers let alone stay still in them so we really need to think about it.

The bright side is that it would appear that the rifle Sam 'borrowed' has a sight on it which appears to have a form of night vision. I want to say a 'kite sight' from a vague memory of Chris Ryan books but I'm not sure. It emits a high pitch noise but there's not much we can do there. The awesome part is that in emergencies we can move out and not be seen. The pitch would probably attract Rani but after a few feet it disappears completely for... human ears...

Another attempt to sleep now though

I hope you make another day

Day 66

As I lay awake with the Rani clawing at the house I was glad that I wasn't able to put the alarm on. It would have just gone off and alerted more Rani to our position.

Eventually they broke through the downstairs windows and it would seem a few climbed through. But none seem to be able to get past the cupboard on the stairs.

That of course doesn't make me want to leave the loft space. We did however have to just to survey the scene.

It's not pretty.

A horde is still milling around us, slowly displacing. I give a couple of days before it's really safe to stay on the first floor. This is such a major let down. If we had been more careful they wouldn't have caught up to us, or maybe, given the amount of time between the first shot and them arriving, they would have just passed us by. Regardless we are stuck in a small area for a while.

In shifts we cleared up what we could to make our place to sleep more appropriate using the former families possessions. We have even made a sign for when we leave so that others know about the place to stay if they ever find it.

We haven't slept due to the constant noise. We've ended up talking about 'what ifs' in terms of what if the end never happened. It is a direct area we have never spoken of before. It's actually nice to dream of a relaxing time. If anything it's good because Sam keeps drifting off as we talk. At least one of us will be well rested.

I hope you make another day

Day 65

We did a quick once over of the small estate we were on. Open doors mainly. Not many cars. The roads were empty. It was almost like everyone got out until we started smelling properly. It's kind of sad but over this time we have become used to the smell of the dead because that is the smell that Rani give us. The only smell that still makes me sick is the smell of the recently dead, when it feels like the smell is warm. I have only encountered it a few times. That of the first days in passing in Scott's house and the unlucky few around there. That of Day 4. That of the Day 4 leader in ASDA.

The smell was old but it was there. Upon looking we realised something. Most homes reeked of it. We approached one and saw why. Three dead. Another four dead. Another five. Another two. Another three. Five. Two. Four. Four. Three. One. Two. Eventually we couldn't do any more. But I had to. I walked into one house. The person was dead by a hit to the head. They hadn't reanimated. Whoever killed them got them early. Looking at others it was a similar story. It didn't make sense to start. But I looked for just a second. The bodies had been moved. All moved so that they could be seen from the front door.

It was a mistake to be there. Someone had killed these people quite possibly to save their own lives. We may have weapons but that means nothing.

We started to make our way back to the first village. But there he was. A bloodied man with a pipe in his hand. The blood wasn't dried meaning he had to have killed recently. He took a few steps towards us. We raised our weapons and shouted to stop. He didn't. He ran at us and I looked behind at the off chance he was running for something there but that thought was in vain. I turned back and saw him raise his arm. I shot him in the shoulder and we both fell backwards. The kick on the rifle was much larger than I thought and the shot was silent. I didn't realise it had a silencer on it.

I picked myself up and saw he did the same. Sam was shaking by now. I managed to shout 'Why!?' but he never responded. He ran at us again and I shot at his shoulder again. This time I stayed up but I wished I hadn't. His arm seemed to just displace. My shots must have destroyed the bone. I felt sick but his snarling worried me more than anything. He would get up and come for us if we didn't run.

Two choices. First village or further in this one. He was getting up. I grabbed Sam

'Where to? North or South Sam?'

She blinked a second and whispered 'We can't stay here, let's go ba...'

But she was interrupted. Not by him but by the horde approaching. Fear made my body go cold. Their feet upon the ground were almost silent. I realised then the rifle didn't have a silencer on. That I had one in my pack for it but hadn't got round to attaching it. The noise had been shattering compared to the silence we had been enjoying recently. Making us prey to the Rani.

We looked at the man but he just turned in all his bloodlust and charged at the horde with is arm trailing in the air. Whatever his reason for his massacre we will never know as he was swallowed a mere instant later by the tide of flesh approaching.

We rushed into a house and slammed the door. Straight through over the bodies. Slamming the back door we chose another house and did the same. We followed this process for one more house then came to a house we knew was empty including no remains of previous inhabitants. Upon arrival I attempted to arm the alarm, but with no notes I decided I couldn't risk it. We barricaded ourselves as best as possible downstairs before blocking of the stairs with a cupboard. Crashing rang out all over but there was nothing within the house.

We climbed into the loft. Cold and empty. We took things from down below to keep us warm then retreated upwards again. The noise slowly reduced but still hasn't faded completely. The temperature is low but with the insulation we are on we should stay warm enough and assuming we don't inhale fibres tonight we should be fine.

I fitted what weapons I could with silencers. No way I was going to let something like that happen again. At least we proved for certain they are attracted to noise...

I hope you make another day

Two Months

A little over two months have now passed since the end.

A lot remains the same as the One Month post so please refer to that. But what has changed?

The sky is now so beautifully clear most days. The world is silent but for our footsteps and breaths and those of any survivors. Not forgetting the low mumblings of our reanimated brothers and sisters of course, they have their place here now too.

But this clear silent world is empty of all meaning but the day to day goal of seeing a new dawn. There is still no word from anyone else. No family. No friends. I actually even tried calling people and there was nothing, not even responses to emails.

The majority of sites are down now. Social networks aren't really needed anyway. The useful thing though is that Google seems to have pretty decent servers/power supplies, though they could fail at any point just like any other.

Please remember also that GPS will survive much longer. The satellites are undisrupted by the events on Earth, unless of course someone decides to change their orbit.

We have fully encountered true enemies. And, by virtue of trying to save some people who could well have been on their way to becoming the Rani, we declared war on them by destroying a stockpile of weapons. Before which, obviously, we liberated some. The contents remain a secret for now, except I have replaced my air rifle for something with a little more... scope...

But as always our biggest enemy remains torn between ourselves and the Rani. As shown in Sam's injury. If she had not been separated from me and focused her attention on all around her she may not have been injured, or she may have been dead altogether. But at the same time the Rani may not have been there a minute later.

The weather is not our friend either. This winter seems to be heading to becoming a cold one. Fog and rain and frost. Negative figures on the temperature gauges. These things effect our safety but not the Rani. If we slip we get injured, we slow down. The Rani are ignorant of pain, nothing but death or the loss of a limb completely slows them down.

If possible don't return to your homes unless you are fully prepared. Knowing that you are leaving all that you had behind is hard enough without it put infront of your face so brightly. But if you do return home make sure you take everything you will ever need. Including spare keys for things you may never see again for that off chance that you do see it again. Pack supplies for the cold winter, you can always ditch it after.

On that topic of collecting items. I advise getting a bag that you can ditch in emergencies. Fill it mainly of things you have in excess. It means that when you are pursued you can drop it and hopefully come back for it later. It means you can carry all you need for the next few weeks until you are more worried about the next two minutes.

The most important thing is to learn from what you do. If you see a pattern remember it. If you pass a dead end note it down. The last thing you need when being chased is to run into that spot.

But remember luck has it's value too. Sometimes you just have to place your faith into it and hope it works.

If you live please let me know.

I hope you make another month

Day 64

There is a truth I have neglected to mention. Like Sam's condition, I too am weighed down occasionally. A periodical depression that comes and goes. It makes me lack enthusiasm for things as well as making me forget to care. I have learnt over the years to hide it and build the walls we all build much higher. When this all started I wondered if I had overcome it or that it was only a mental state. But the longer it continues the more I am convinced: it is another thing uncontrollable.

For a while at least my posts may seem distant. But I promise I will not miss anything of relevance. And when I balance myself I will continue the story of my past. That Day is important as I have said so many times before.

But enough of that.

A point I haven't mentioned yet, in case you haven't found out yet. A lot of websites seem to be failing. All google supported ones seem okay, although there is nothing new that I have found but my blog. Obviously Youtube videos cannot be uploaded as they have to be processed. Who knows how long until these fail too. If we're lucky they'll make the end of the hardware's life span. So we have 5 or so years.

Another useful thing is that GPS is still going until the satellites start falling from failing systems. Just a few updates for you prior to the monthly update.

-

Today we had enough room to move, so we did. The world was still cold but at least we could see before us. Sam's injury looks pretty much mended anyway. Instead of straight to our target I decided to change the plan a little bit. I was uncomfortable about a few areas along the way considering how enclosed they are balanced against escape routes away from the situation. The new route took us to another village. Another day added to our journey time but at least we could find if anyone was still alive there too.

With moving fast we made it to the edge and settled into a house without encountering any Rani. We haven't yet encountered any other people either. I guess though that it has been two months. I didn't even think I would survive this long. I barely made a week. But we must hold hope. The darkness must end at some point. When it does I will finally have a good nights sleep. Without the sight of the eyes before me.

A thought has occurred to me. I never did go back for that Mars Bar...

I hope you make another day

Day 63

If it's not one thing it is another.

Today's delay, courtesy of Fog. Pretty dense stuff too. I would hazard a guess at 30-40 yards clear enough but after that it fades pretty rapidly. That's not somewhere you want to be when a horde could be anywhere.

Even playing cards is now wearing thin on us. It's fine for the odd hour but with nothing else to do we spent the better part of six hours doing so.

Sitting in silence to the low hum of the passing Rani is now the only thing that seems to pass the time quickly. It's a strange thing that when we are safe their noises are actually soothing, almost like the noises that sleeping dogs make when dreaming but more constant.

I just hope we can move on sooner rather than later. I have a feeling the weather isn't going to get better for a long time.

I hope you make another day

Day 62

The weather looked as if it would hold for the day, but Rani still scoured the streets. We could leave by the back way but this would have meant being delayed by a couple of days while trying to identify an easy new route.

It turned out to be a good call hiding away as shortly before lunch what only could be described as a horde descend from the path we would have taken. No Screamer to be seen. They just moved around like usual. They are still out there now but I cannot stop watching them. There is something on the tip of my tongue about them, but I can't quite figure out what it is.

I hope you make another day

Day 61

When we woke it was already raining and the Rani in the street carried on regardless. I hadn't really taken a look at them before in this weather. Blood seemed to wash off of them but seemed endless; making the roads redden. Of course most of this would be washed away after they move on but I still found it slightly absurd. It wasn't a huge quantity but unless they fed surely they couldn't replenish anything. Unless of course something was wrong completely with my idea of the Rani. Could it be they don't follow the seven signs of being alive? (Nutrition-check, Excretion-I haven't checked, Reproduction-does conversion count?, Growth-time will tell, Sensitivity-no pain receptors noticed, Respiration-not that I've seen, Movement)

It begs the question: What is life?

I watched them pass all day with the rain coming and going. Another day wasted for my plan, but not in learning a bit about our biggest two foes.

Weather: it's not easy but you can judge in the pattern of the weather in the current day what it will be like tomorrow. It's not exact but it's probably as reliable as the weather reports we used to get. It cannot be explained, I just hope in telling you this you can try to learn yourself.

Rani: there is something more to them. I notice it more and more every day. A pack mentality but at the same time lone hunters. If one catches your scent they alone will get you. In this way they are not a pack. At the same time they instinctively know where the others of their kind are, and what direction they are going. So why don't they act upon one of their own changing direction rapidly? There is too much contradiction here. Almost as if their mind isn't wired correctly, that it is only half functioning. All I can hope is that their brains do not get more coherent. We've almost died a number of times running from a mindless beast. Running from a thinking beast? I don't fancy the chances.

I hope you make another day

Day 60

As I looked over another white morning today I sighed. Maybe it was true; maybe they finally got it right. Maybe the forecasters actually were able to predict something. Maybe it would be the coldest winter in current history (whatever that phrase actually means).

Based on that we wrapped up as best we could without limiting our ability to run and fight. I regretted not picking up some of my dads cooking equipment. Sure it was heavy and slightly dangerous (flammable) but with days like this ahead we need warm food. We also need shelter every night, so that is a priority come midday. Once it reaches 1pm we will search from a house to stay. Though we may easily survive the night the risk is too high. Frankly I want to live. That's it simply put.

We watched as Rani passed and took a chance to shadow a group. With the wind pretty much non existent the group in front would not find us. A later group would but with any good fortune they will be far behind and not be able to catch us.

We passed a few turnings with them lurching forward and scrambling badly over cars; occasionally waiting for their stragglers to catch up which was interesting to see. The ones at the front just stopped almost mid step in anticipation, and the moment the others caught up they carried on. This pace was easy to follow but it was actually slower than the pace we used to set in the city, especially adding on that we had to be even more careful when climbing cars when the group was easily within ear shot.

Eventually they followed a path I didn't want to so we were faced with travelling in a direction that could hold Rani moving towards us. But with the Sun blazing down and it still being cold we carried on in the hopes of finding another building.

We did. We reached the village I was aiming for and found a place to hide. Watching the houses I couldn't see any movement except for one which appeared to have a Rani moving about the living room unable to get out, which is probably for the best. One less to worry about.

Other than that nothing. That always concerns me, but no matter; we will only be here one day.

I am still aware I haven't spoken any more of Day 4 but with what is happening now I just cannot spend my time focusing on my past. It's all about where we are heading.

I hope you make another day

Day 59

As usual fate seems set on destroying our goals. No matter what we do bad things happen. Today frost set in: negative figures. Though Sam is almost ready to fight on at peak efficiency I decided against it.

The Rani pass the house occasionally and though the view is not amazing using the scopes and binoculars I am beginning to understand how the countryside seems to work. The cycling of Rani leaves large spots open in the metropolitan areas, but in the wild this same pattern means they cover almost all areas. In theory the only safe path is to trail a group of them hoping they don't catch our scent. Running across fields seems ideal, but it leaves us open to attack from all sides and flanking. I don't like it. This pack and hunter mentality is truly creepy, it's like whatever makes us them activates parts of our heads that aren't active any more. Could it be that rather than this being a freak evolution of mankind it is a devolution?

Could that mean that it really is a virus?

Else does it mean mankind's time at a sentient being is over?

I won't let it end this way, after all we have been through we cannot just let it pass over one incident.

I hope you make another day

Day 58

We started our journey southwards today. Passing signs of civilisation. As we walked in and out of the cars littering the lone road we realised that we were diving into an area deeper than we had ever been before. Survival in this environment would require different skills to those that we had been using up until now. We checked our weapons and fired a single shot each into the distance. Looking through my scope I saw the impact in a tree for mine and Sam reported hers hit another.

I checked my map, which was now attached to my belt for ease of viewing. I didn't really need to look at it but I wanted to get into the habit of it for when we moved further on.

When we reached the turning it dawned on me: a reasonably sized oversight. There was a lot of tree and bush cover but not much in the way of places to hide. If things came at us we would be in trouble.

But as we always did, and I guess we always will, we shrugged, accepted it, and carried on.

Sadly fate conspired against our progress once again. We followed the road and climbed over car after car until we saw a group of Rani. We noticed them when we were already on top of a car, and by then it was too late. They chased us. We ran back and took a side road, I desperately looked at my map for signs of other roads or houses. After a relatively short run we found a house; it was open.

The Rani would most likely catch up within about half hour after taking into consideration their inability to climb objects, so they wouldn't find us here.

Another waste of a day, brought courtesy of bad luck. But then we learnt something: encounters with Rani here will be more dangerous and we must take more care.

I hope you make another day

Day 57

Our plan will mean venturing into unfamiliar territory. It is almost unknown due to the fact I have never walked it but gone by car. It is dangerous not only because of that, but of the open spaces. Because of that we didn't move today which is a great annoyance to us both. Sure we have the issues of my mind being awry today, and confirming our plan of action, but today was a beautiful day and it is just wasted by sitting still.

So an early night and long sleep just in case there are safe places for a few days.

I hope you make another day

Day 56

When I woke this morning I regarded the sky suspiciously. It was clear but for a stretch of clouds like hands; appearing the grasp the very edge of the world. I didn't trust in it, but turning my glance Earth bound the streets were clear. Good enough.

Within a few minutes of clear streets we were there. We stood at the bottom of the short uphill walk that separated us from my home. The area looked a lot like it did before the end. A few windows were broken in the closer houses and most of the cars were gone. But still there lay the almost triumphant scene of the cars outside my house. Two unable to move and the other, seemly, hadn't been forced to. As we ascended I saw that the gate was broken down, it occurred that it could be how the Rani got in on Day 1.

"What's your choice? Front or back?" I asked

"Assuming we're talking about the house" she paused but remained looking forward as she walked "back-ways; door's already open there isn't it?"

"From what I remember we don't need a door to get in that way at all"

We were, of course, both aware that it was dangerous going this way so I went first brandishing my weapon; if we were to run Sam would need a couple seconds on me. Injury or not we both knew I could run faster.

As I entered the gate I made note; my brother's car still lay there, ever so slightly hidden.

When I stopped I checked everything out. Everything was exactly how I had left it, albeit slightly longer in reference to the greenery. Even the kitchen light had been left on which had probably been turned on by my dad that morning. Even the Rani lay there. Not eaten: no others had been here.

It occurred to me then that a good, but slightly sinister, way to check if Rani were about would be to leave the dead in places we wanted secure. If the flesh remained then it should be safe.

I signalled her in and when she arrived she mentioned the same thing.

"Ya know the other thing that occurs to me Miss is that shouldn't there be maggots and flies on dead bodies?"

"Gross but yes as far as all that CSI stuff goes anyway"

"Have you noticed any flies or maggots on any of the dead we've seen?"

"No... but what could that mean?"

"Could mean everything, could mean nothing." I shrugged, she smiled, I saw my dog's collar precarious on the edge of the decking, as I had left it. I was filled with a strange sadness knowing that she was definitely gone unless some unforeseen strangers decided it was safe to have her with them. Though what concerned me now, which hadn't then, was how her collar came to be off of her. And then still be tied up. That disturbed me somewhat.

Before I knew it I had stepped through. I was home.

I turned to Sam "Take whatever you need, your house is my house... No wait... Strike that, reverse it." She smiled from my anecdote and proceeded to explore slowly. Though Rani were not here others still may.

The kitchen held water supplies which we took alongside any food still intact. Tins included.

Then to the rest of the house. Along the way I picked up the spare keys for the cars of the house. If I ever were to come across them again or need to backtrack I didn't want to be searching for them.

I picked up my waterproof coat as well as the insulating layer and proceeded to my room. Each part of the house seemed slightly darker than it ever had been before, but each room was empty and none had any signs of things being moved.

I suddenly realised this would probably be the last I saw of this house, regardless of what happened and I felt sadness. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed upon the thought of something I hadn't considered: that the house was as big a part of me as my family and though it wasn't dead, it would be lost, eventually it would be raided and all sentiments would leave it.

I looked around and tried to assess what was important to me. So much, so little... A pack of cards, a game, long lost toys, shoes, movies, books, my guitar.

I stood looking for a while until Sam announced her presence and said she had collected everything she wanted. I picked up my last pair of converse and put them back down in place, reaching instead for my hiking boots. All purpose shoes: Check

I grabbed yet another coat. I wasn't going to leave something that expensive for any future raiders. Coats for all weather. Check

I grabbed a couple of books. Useful as kindling if nothing else later on. Joke book, favourite book and it's sequels: Check

I looked in despair. I should not have come back. I had my writing... I took it all out and found the fire safety box in the house. I emptied it of all things of monetary value and filled it instead with what was really important, then I hid it in a place it couldn't be found only to find I wasn't any more relaxed by this until I realised that alongside what I had put in there were the documents my mum had seen as important, certificates of all of us: a memory in a box protected against the elements... 

I took my pendrive, just as important as the written word. It stored a copy of most of the same things, but it was just an emergency copy. I stashed it away in my pocket. I changed into cleaner versions of the clothes I had originally taken, which were also better fitting as they had been too small for me prior to the end.

I looked around again and again. I took one rabbit-teddy for memory's sake and took my 18th Birthday present (a watch) from my cupboard and put new batteries in. I gave a further one to Sam which amused her with how the watch was orientated and showed time. It really cannot be explained but I have the same frustration which stems from the original smile I had when I saw it.

I took the other torches I had acquired in life and new headphones, then saw old sun glasses; though they were not the right prescription any more they weren't far out and they would be better in the sun than the Transitions ones I had on. I tried to think about what else I needed, but the weather started to set in and I couldn't concentrate. I just needed to get out and not come back, unless forever.

We left

I didn't see until later but Sam took my camcorder and my PG tips Monkey toy as well for herself, as well as taking the time to write something on my guitar before we left though I only have her word for the last one... 

I have no doubt now that I must have overlooked something important, but in having more food, clean clothes, a way to stay dry and warm, as well as keeping the sentiments of my house safe. We also have a pack of cards which I never thought of taking before. Sam cheats but at least it's something nice to do to pass the time.

I guess tomorrow will mean we have to start moving on... But one final check.

Sanity: a bit tattered, could do with replacing, but Check.

Resolve: Check

I hope you make another day

Day 55

Even though we had the earliest start we could the weather beat us back. We made it only a short distance. Now we are about a 5minute run from my house, but it seems even the very world wants to keep me away.

Effectively we halved our distance today but with the Rani population growing due to their rotation of areas we had to circle a bit. Add to that Sam's injury still not being fully healed I just don't want to risk any infection setting in.

Good news is today I found a compass and a kinetically charged pedometer. Mostly I have been relying on knowing the area but when it comes to walking through the wilderness these two things combined will allow us to accurately see where we are. Assuming the magnetic poles do not shift of course.

Strangely even though it is fast approaching two months since our meeting we still find things to talk about, I suppose it helps that I'm now talking about pre-apocalypse. A lot of things happen in 20years. And you meet a lot of people... It's getting easier to get to terms with not ever seeing old friends again. It will never be easy though; the best and worst times of my life were defined by people and I doubt any of them draw breath, I may even have ended their re-life without realising it. Though if they live they would destroy the sentimentality of life I have created surrounding them. But within all of that I still cannot comprehend my family not being there any more; they defined so much of my existence that I fear that in losing them I will lose a part of me, I didn't feel that for anyone else that I've lost so far...

We can but wait for morning now though. But I hold little hope for a break. It occurs to me that every day that we are delayed may incur more death... Of course this means nothing to you yet because I have not explained my updated plan.

I hope you make another day

Day 54

Delayed again. The weather doesn't seem to know what to do. I've been cursing the whole fact that the end of the world had to come at winter time. Not spring so we could get used to living outside but when it's coldest...

Again we failed to progress to any decent level but we are within a good distance of home. I am dreading it. It is another early morning to try and beat the weather as it looks like it will just get worse and worse.

I hope you make another day

Day 53

It rained a lot today, and not only that it was cold, it was windy. But haste we made. Passing ground we had hundreds of times before. I had a realisation though. Today would have been the day I officially got my NVQ and so would dozens of others. So congratulations are in order! Of course assuming any of you made it alongside me. If not I guess it doesn't matter to you any more anyway.

Though the day was horrible, the outcome was less so. We gained experience in carrying our weapons. We each held a loaded and an unloaded one ready. With the unloaded one we practised lining up shots; though it isn't the best experience it is indeed the quietest.

We didn't travel as far as we wanted so we utilised the time with map learning. Mainly with Sam being the learner and me testing her. We've started to designate areas each day that will be the refuge if we are split up again. In such a case the pilfered maps will be useful (I say maps as I picked up a second one today). We also split the medical stuff a bit more, especially as Sam is still on low level antibiotics for another week to ensure the wound is okay.

I'm sure you are still inquisitive over where we hid those past days from the Dodge men. The main thing I learnt from computer games online is simple: the enemy rarely worries about their doorstep. They leave their safe area assuming the enemy to be further on unless you reveal yourself, to which they will be wary. Strangely enough if you attack a safe area and retreat they don't assume that you are in the local area all that often; they think you have pulled back to a more controlled area. More fool them. A small hut in the woods served us well until we had to leave.

So now we rest. We aren't where I wanted to be. Ideally I wanted to be able to get to my home and move on within a day. That seems impossible to do safely. Instead we face another day walking then another evening waiting. So on Thursday we should get there...

Even with double our layers it is cold. We best get warm clothing that is suitable soon. I don't fancy our chances when we catch hypothermia...

I hope you make another day