Day 389?

It's been a long time. Too long really. With all that has happened I forgot all about this site. But recently I had the time to charge his phone, just in case again, just in case his family or friends managed to survive. Still blank, still waiting with a most used bookmark on the page.

I reread it all. I relived it all, and the saddest thing is I still miss him even though I now have others with me. The boy I saved. The girl who saved us. They are the constants, but there have been a few that came and went when they needed.

The boy is Kris. He knows he has nothing but us. Unfortunately he saw it all.

The girl is Charlie. Yes that Charlie. I said she would be saved, but unknowingly she proved again she had a heart.

On September 17th attacks started happening all over. Within a day the scale was unheard of. The world collapsed faster than anyone would think. These plans they had for holding back a tide of the infected with flu and all that? They were nothing but scrap when this occurred. Complete communications collapse within weeks. But all official communication ceased within days. Even after all this time I haven't heard anything valid. True there has been a couple of bursts of shouting but it never lasted.

We wanted to leave. To explore this world with the army's equipment we have but there is still this nagging fear. Fear that we will be lost in areas unknown. Fear that rescue will come to our calls and we won't be there.

Hopefully I can briefly cover what has happened over the coming days and weeks, as the former blogger said, this is all for you to learn, so you don't have to suffer the same mistakes we made.

I suppose I should mention, of course you may know already but...

My name is Sam and I survived the Apocalypse.

Day 4 all over.

I knew I had to do this right. I've been over and over his notes on that day and I remember his descriptions of what happened and could have happened.

The group was down by two of the original members but in following there seemed to be 3 new ones. There was also one haunted looking girl who was still easily recognisable as the one who had to live regardless of what happened. She saved him. I'll save her.

The issues lay in finding a place for my equipment safely while maintaining my safety when I try to turn the tables on them. And figuring out how they function as we... Me and he... saw the dead former leader over half a year ago.

Hunting them and staying hidden however turned out to be really easy. They didn't even seem to try to hide themselves. Two had proper weapons in firearms while most others had axes or show swords.

They were aggressive, until they saw a random survivor. They must have missed the noise a few hours earlier but I didn't. It was a boy maybe only a few years younger than me. Crying. Over his mother. Or maybe just a woman who helped him. The noises? Her fight to kill the two Rani that trapped her. From how the dead lay I would say she got one then died. The boy must have gotten the other. It's strange how I was able to think that before seeing him, even guessing how they lay. It makes me wonder if he was right; that I have an insight he never did.

When they saw him they rushed back to hide then started to discuss their plan. I was sickened by this, but to act? That would ruin everything. Three days following them would be wasted.

So I watched. They left him crying for an hour. Calling the Rani in. My skin crawled with knowing that

Finally they moved. Carefully, with small smiles. They knew what they were doing. They had done it all before. Still I watched. I waited. Barely.

Changing tides

That group I said about? It would seem it is a small world. It also looks like Day 4 isn't so far away. Time to see how they like being tricked.

The city in Sun

I was thinking about my previous post and I thought best to clarify: we did have a lot of set backs when it came to travelling away.

This city is strangely compelling when silent. The wind screams through so freely around all we made. Even more so seeing it has been overly windy recently

There are signs of people being here since we left. Cars have noticeably moved, namely on exit roads and the like. But no movement that I've seen.

The strangest thing I have noticed is that there is a noticeable layer of dust on cars. I know occasionally you saw it but every one I pass had a complete layer. I say had as I drew on some to pass the time.

One final thing is I have picked up a noticeable trail left by a group and I'm pretty sure as I'm following it the things are getting fresher. For one the mould is less the more I travel. They obviously stick around more than me.

I will keep you apprised.

On the road - Distant travels

I suppose a new introduction is in order for late joiners. I'm Sam (see below for more details). I currently travel alone and occasionally I will write these messages for you in the hope that you will gain something from it. It also allows me to stop going slightly crazy from being alone.

My last post, first post, was done the day before I set off from the Satellite station. It's only been a few days really but I'm almost back. Compared to how long it took to go the other way, I am amazed.

Back being Hereford itself. In the hopes I find purpose or something to distract myself.

Hesitantly I left the van at the station, hidden as best as I could. I would like to use it but in being alone I felt it put me at risk. Say if it broke down or something.

I didn't like my last sign off. I can't quite put my finger on why however... I want to say 'Keep in touch' but it's too much like a damn letter. How about;

End (I like the sentiment, almost like his but not)

Day... A New Start

It's been such a long time in my mind that it has been over. I'm by myself now. Well other than the 5 Rani that stumble about nearby. I had to use most of the ammo to dispose of the rest so I could get to him and say my goodbyes... Is dispose the right word?

I've also had ditch most of the weapons as I couldn't physically carry that many. Arguably I am carrying too much now anyway. Two pistols, shotgun, assault rifle, and a disassembled sniper rifle. On top of that I have my survival clothing, primus, food, ammo. Water isn't so important now knowing that I can drink any source and not be infected, or at least as far as I am aware...

The weapons I have left are by the helicopters, so if any of you need them, take them. They are hidden below the one that has one of the leg supports broken off. It's pretty hard to see or get to it without knowing it's there.

Towards the end of the last section of these reports I was starting to wonder if there was any point, and if there were others. With his sacrifice I have been refreshed like a damn webpage. I know people will be alive because others will die to save them. I know there is a point else he would have jumped in the room with me.

There are people from hell too. Yes. But they can capture me all they want. Do unspeakable things like they already have, but in this world, vengeance isn't a cell, it's a weapon; it's death. I don't want to become some God-awful thing like The Punisher but strangely I can see why he was like it. If you think that comment is strange in itself when coming from me, think about it, he wouldn't have been able to cope with me if I didn't have similar interests.

I just don't get how the best time of my life is the time I have spent with him. I guess it doesn't matter now. I'm heading back to Hereford shortly, to try and find someone or something. My family, or hell, even the Dodge or Day 4 guys. Scores to settle as they say.

I will talk in time about how I found him but right now the roads a'callin', can't keep it waiting.

Now I was thinking what my sign off could be. I almost want to have his but I can't dwell; it hasn't been long enough to dwell. So how about:

Another update, shortly.

For if it ends too soon

I write this with the knowledge I have gained so far: I know I will not last forever. Eventually I will get caught out or mess up. Hopefully someone will find this log (most likely Sam) or I will post before I join the legions of dead. Too many close calls... I can't just leave things open ended. Relying on luck to get by is a fools errand. I am no fool.

So here is my message to all from beyond the grave. *Insert spooky noise here*

I have regrets of life, sure, but at the same time I have those moments of which I fondly remember. Many things I would change, but mainly just to change how I spoke to someone, or how I reacted.

I want to express that there are people who were in my life and are that mean the world to me. I either miss them or complain that they are around too much. A secret? If you found yourself saying I hope I'm one of those; you probably are, or were.

This life and all that has happened over the past few years has constantly had me reevaluating life itself and in the end I've always worried that I won't make the most of it and I'll ruin any chances I've had. I guess all the answers are left to those remaining to answer. Sometimes the questions are left for them to ask as well.

Secrets should remain.Why do people need to know all the shadows in our life? Though I harbour dark intent there: I want to ensure that we always forever share a shadow of our hearts. But I do want to say that I always remember certain moments and they guide me. I would say they always will, but that will be redundant when you read this.

Funny thing is, the thing that holds me to my sanity so much instead of the falling depression isn't hope, or happiness but a line from a film. "The more you know who you are and what you want, the less you let things upset you'". All I've tried is to find who I am, to this day I still cannot say. I try and pressure myself to think, but I cannot.

I've also been thinking about how I can end my final post. Which I guess is this. I hope something fitting remains in my last thoughts and I really pray I remember that period. Maybe you haven't noticed but I never put a stop at the end of my sign off. A sign for another day, a sign for hope: that this isn't finished. Not just yet. But strangely it is.

I hope an eagle eye or two have also spotted a secret there: make. Life is what you do and create, don't just survive, anyone can. Make it a life worth living be it apocalypse, rapture, or wedding day.

So in ending a final wish. Don't forget any of my words. Don't wish harm upon those who you share these dark and bright days. And in the end does the apocalypse really change us? Who we were before it is exactly who survived it. What we have done is all we are: all the trophies on the wall are just symbols of that fact. All I know is that the world will carry on after me and that's for sure.

For the last time I say; I hope you make another day (it's up to you to say that from now on)