Day 56

When I woke this morning I regarded the sky suspiciously. It was clear but for a stretch of clouds like hands; appearing the grasp the very edge of the world. I didn't trust in it, but turning my glance Earth bound the streets were clear. Good enough.

Within a few minutes of clear streets we were there. We stood at the bottom of the short uphill walk that separated us from my home. The area looked a lot like it did before the end. A few windows were broken in the closer houses and most of the cars were gone. But still there lay the almost triumphant scene of the cars outside my house. Two unable to move and the other, seemly, hadn't been forced to. As we ascended I saw that the gate was broken down, it occurred that it could be how the Rani got in on Day 1.

"What's your choice? Front or back?" I asked

"Assuming we're talking about the house" she paused but remained looking forward as she walked "back-ways; door's already open there isn't it?"

"From what I remember we don't need a door to get in that way at all"

We were, of course, both aware that it was dangerous going this way so I went first brandishing my weapon; if we were to run Sam would need a couple seconds on me. Injury or not we both knew I could run faster.

As I entered the gate I made note; my brother's car still lay there, ever so slightly hidden.

When I stopped I checked everything out. Everything was exactly how I had left it, albeit slightly longer in reference to the greenery. Even the kitchen light had been left on which had probably been turned on by my dad that morning. Even the Rani lay there. Not eaten: no others had been here.

It occurred to me then that a good, but slightly sinister, way to check if Rani were about would be to leave the dead in places we wanted secure. If the flesh remained then it should be safe.

I signalled her in and when she arrived she mentioned the same thing.

"Ya know the other thing that occurs to me Miss is that shouldn't there be maggots and flies on dead bodies?"

"Gross but yes as far as all that CSI stuff goes anyway"

"Have you noticed any flies or maggots on any of the dead we've seen?"

"No... but what could that mean?"

"Could mean everything, could mean nothing." I shrugged, she smiled, I saw my dog's collar precarious on the edge of the decking, as I had left it. I was filled with a strange sadness knowing that she was definitely gone unless some unforeseen strangers decided it was safe to have her with them. Though what concerned me now, which hadn't then, was how her collar came to be off of her. And then still be tied up. That disturbed me somewhat.

Before I knew it I had stepped through. I was home.

I turned to Sam "Take whatever you need, your house is my house... No wait... Strike that, reverse it." She smiled from my anecdote and proceeded to explore slowly. Though Rani were not here others still may.

The kitchen held water supplies which we took alongside any food still intact. Tins included.

Then to the rest of the house. Along the way I picked up the spare keys for the cars of the house. If I ever were to come across them again or need to backtrack I didn't want to be searching for them.

I picked up my waterproof coat as well as the insulating layer and proceeded to my room. Each part of the house seemed slightly darker than it ever had been before, but each room was empty and none had any signs of things being moved.

I suddenly realised this would probably be the last I saw of this house, regardless of what happened and I felt sadness. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed upon the thought of something I hadn't considered: that the house was as big a part of me as my family and though it wasn't dead, it would be lost, eventually it would be raided and all sentiments would leave it.

I looked around and tried to assess what was important to me. So much, so little... A pack of cards, a game, long lost toys, shoes, movies, books, my guitar.

I stood looking for a while until Sam announced her presence and said she had collected everything she wanted. I picked up my last pair of converse and put them back down in place, reaching instead for my hiking boots. All purpose shoes: Check

I grabbed yet another coat. I wasn't going to leave something that expensive for any future raiders. Coats for all weather. Check

I grabbed a couple of books. Useful as kindling if nothing else later on. Joke book, favourite book and it's sequels: Check

I looked in despair. I should not have come back. I had my writing... I took it all out and found the fire safety box in the house. I emptied it of all things of monetary value and filled it instead with what was really important, then I hid it in a place it couldn't be found only to find I wasn't any more relaxed by this until I realised that alongside what I had put in there were the documents my mum had seen as important, certificates of all of us: a memory in a box protected against the elements... 

I took my pendrive, just as important as the written word. It stored a copy of most of the same things, but it was just an emergency copy. I stashed it away in my pocket. I changed into cleaner versions of the clothes I had originally taken, which were also better fitting as they had been too small for me prior to the end.

I looked around again and again. I took one rabbit-teddy for memory's sake and took my 18th Birthday present (a watch) from my cupboard and put new batteries in. I gave a further one to Sam which amused her with how the watch was orientated and showed time. It really cannot be explained but I have the same frustration which stems from the original smile I had when I saw it.

I took the other torches I had acquired in life and new headphones, then saw old sun glasses; though they were not the right prescription any more they weren't far out and they would be better in the sun than the Transitions ones I had on. I tried to think about what else I needed, but the weather started to set in and I couldn't concentrate. I just needed to get out and not come back, unless forever.

We left

I didn't see until later but Sam took my camcorder and my PG tips Monkey toy as well for herself, as well as taking the time to write something on my guitar before we left though I only have her word for the last one... 

I have no doubt now that I must have overlooked something important, but in having more food, clean clothes, a way to stay dry and warm, as well as keeping the sentiments of my house safe. We also have a pack of cards which I never thought of taking before. Sam cheats but at least it's something nice to do to pass the time.

I guess tomorrow will mean we have to start moving on... But one final check.

Sanity: a bit tattered, could do with replacing, but Check.

Resolve: Check

I hope you make another day