Day 45

I didn't sleep much during the night, instead I sat silently listening for any noise that could mean danger. As such, by the time that Sam awoke I was exhausted. I did my best to hide this as she was in pain. The wound hadn't opened again but it was sore apparently. When she complained of pain I feared that the injection yesterday went badly, but the leg was fine.

I found some moisturiser and gave it to her to apply to sooth the pain and sat down. I fell asleep then. When I woke it was hours later and Sam was flicking through a book whilst sitting by the window.

"You know if I bore you that much..." She started. She stopped because she looked at me. She walked over and sat down and frowned. "What's wrong?"

Me "I dreamt of the eye again..."

Sam "As usual"

M "As usual, but it was you the eye was in... Since I saw that Rani I haven't seen anything else in my imagination... But that? I don't like it.

She stared for a while "Maybe it's an omen, maybe not. Not a lot we can do about it. The way I've been thinking since and mainly during my incapacitation is that we are on borrowed time. Even if we do everything right sometimes luck just won't be on our side. Luck is what keeps us alive more than anything."

M "To start yeah, luck meant everything to me; everything fell into place and saved me and got me to where I needed to be. But my luck almost ran out that day.. and since I've needed to be all that I ever could be just to make a chance of making another day... Lets just say it's all chance, then we've just been seeing things in other things that are just not there, but why? Just to make us feel better? Give us hope?"

She didn't reply
M "More to the point, when I hadn't met you I knew I could do this alone. But now I know I need you. You watch my back and keep me sane."

S "Of course assuming you aren't already insane and I'm just a manifestation of it"

M "Nice, thanks"

S "Look, neither of us know if there is anything else in the world for us. Neither of us know if our families are alive or not. My phone's almost always on but nothing. I couldn't do this without you, mainly as I'd be dead twice if you hadn't come for me both times. And to be honest I don't think of what's to come because each day is hauntingly beautiful to me, and I know you feel the same about this world. All I think is that it is important today. If I die tomorrow, I guess that's it. I don't want to, but face it, how many would feel the same, but never got the chance?"

For a moment I couldn't reply

M "So we just need to follow the cliché of taking each day as it comes then?" She nodded, I laughed a little "Fine but remember the only way you become one of them is if I do first. I won't let it any other way."

S "Agreed. And I'll keep watching your back because you are far better company than the other guys we've come across, well just about anyway.

M "And if I truly have lost everything in this world then I choose you to be the thing I live for; to be my purpose. You know just so you don't go insane"

S "Way I see it I haven't lost everything just yet. I got you, a couple of weapons, dreams and hope."

We sat and mused on this for a while. The thought of what I will see tonight in my sleep doesn't scare me as much now. I'm not psychic, it was just a manifestation of my two fears combined: the seemingly endless eyes of the Rani, and losing Sam.

I guess it's true though that we let our thoughts and imagination outweigh the facts and our senses sometimes... And though those thoughts will always lay there in contradiction to our sight and hearing, we must remember: which is real? and make the most of it.

I also keep dwelling upon what Sam said "All I think is that it is important today". What is my 'it'?

I hope you make another day